The Good List

The marble bathtub. I told Alan when we redo the master bath we are going to have to design around the bathtub with the perfect slope for cars (and barbies) to wing down the back like a water slide.

I LOVE the ice dispenser. Not because I actually eat ice (ick, of the devil, ice cream headache without the yumminess), but because Cortland thinks I'm a magic princess when I push the button and frozen bits come raining down on his head. He is entertained for 15 minutes trying to pick up slippery bits (and shhhh, put them in his mouth - don't tell CPS) and I get a clean floor by mopping up the melty spots. Win! Win!

Grace's Do-You-Want-to-Go-to-Your-Room? room is far, far away from Cortland's bedroom and behind two doors for maximum not going to wake the baby with her barking and have to be shaken Memphis-styleness. *gassssspppppp, big breath*
So much less stress knowing I don't feel like beating the dog because she is yelling at an evil cotton ball. We have a no-bark machine coming the 26th. Maybe then we can watch TV again. It's the kind that makes the high-pitched sound not a shock collar.

The kitchen faucet took a little getting used to , but now I love it. The head is also the sprayer and water shoots out hard enough to peel paint. I fell in total love with it when it cleaned out a 1/2 full can of tomato paste in 2.1 seconds.

I have lots and lots of cabinets So many cabinets I routinely loose things in the kitchen. It's great! (As routinely as someone who's only been here a week.)

Cortland can go play in his room all by himself. No stairs = wander in and play with trains whenever he wants.

And the bad stuff? No Tanya next door. I miss her.

Moving In - Day 5

I've spent the last three days moving large items (eg. huge packages of paper towels and toilet paper because Alan had to get a Costco membership to support his rampant nut cluster habit. Thanks David) from one unacceptable in the way place to another in the way place, neither of which is it's new home. Rat in a maze. Rat in a maze. I feel just like a rat in a maze.

Today I have big plans. I'm going to eat powdered donuts and contemplate my navel.

Less is More

VIEW FROM OUR CONDO BALCONY

It's a little late now, but I think I made a horrible error in judgment concerning my life. I wish I would have, before I got used to the finer things in life - cars, furniture, running water - have aspired to a simpler lifestyle. Beach Raker.

Just imagine, getting up and raking the sand clean of the high tide seaweed and then laying on the beach until the next raking in the morning. Easy-Peasy. Only as many possessions as will fit in a Chevy Chevette and eating ramen every meal, but the trade-off is a life of relaxation.

I might have even learned how to surf along the way. Maybe have saved for a metal detector. Made puka shell necklaces to sell to a local shop. Knitted fishing nets.

The possibilities would have been endless if only I had aspired to less.

Balding

So this afternoon Tanya and I are sitting there picking out yarn for a new knitting project when she gasps and starts poking in my hair. She is looking behind my ear and says, "Did you know you have a chunk of hair missing?"

WHAT?

She looks on the other side to see if I just have some freaky hairline, but no, there is definitely a chunk of hair missing from the left side of my head.

I take down my ponytail and ask her to weed through the rest and see if there are any more holes. Nope, no more bare spots. Just that one.

After Alan got home I showed it to him. I completely expecting him to make me feel better by doing the typical guy thing and saying it's not that bad, or, dare I hope, an "I don't see what you're talking about."

WRONG!

He looks and hmm's and while walking away says it's probably just stress. Typical guy thing is what I was looking for!

So now I have to wear my hair down.

Outside of house

For everyone looking for the outside of the new house...

Listing

The story of poop - Christensen style

Alan and I do not talk about poop. Ever. The 1st and last time we discussed it was when we were going on our 1st vacation and I announced that when I asked him to leave the room he would have to leave, no questions asked. When he agreed and said ditto, I knew he was the one for me.

Wait, we did discuss it one other time. I told him that sometimes a woman will poop on the table while giving birth. No matter what I was not one of those women. If it happens then it didn't really happen and that was that. Again, he agreed - no questions asked.

We are showing the house in 30 minutes and as soon as Alan walked out of the bathroom I said, "You did not do what I think you just did, did you? You're shit better smell like roses or I'm going to be super pissed."

Selling a house - The thing that brings families closer.

More videos

For Grandmas

Open House on Sunday

The realtor just called ad we're having an open house on Sunday. I'm a little stressed about this because this is what our pool looks like as of 5 minutes ago. Uhhhhh, holy shitaki mushrooms.


See all that white rock piled up? That's the pool coping. It was all broken and we're replacing it with stone. What a mess.

On the plus side the guy jack-hammering has a rockin' body and I can see him through the window.

ETA: Cripes, the bushes behind the guys are HUGE! We need to add trimming those to the list. Alan? Are you listening? Yet another stupid chore. Yuck.

House

The realtor came today and the house is officially on the market. The signs go up tonight and pictures will be on realtor.com within 48 hours.

REALTOR.COM LISTING

Videos

Knitted Sweater

I made this sweater for Cortland. All that's left is to put on the buttons and fix the 3 ft long arms... oops!

1st Haircut

Hoarders

I feel lately that I'm being buried in stuff. We're trying to get closets cleaned out and a huge to-do list completed so we can sell our house and - ARGHHHHH! - I just want to go back to bed.

Now granted, I've been watching Hoarders on TV and that's totally not helping. I know for some it would get them motivated to clean clean clean. For me, the slippery slope of messy to complete disaster house is almost an enviable possibility. But, in the time it took for me to write that I knew it would not be a possibility. I would go c.r.a.z.y in a pigsty. But just think about it - stuff everywhere and no urge to clean it up? Heaven!

More Grandma Candy

Update From Alan

The city we're in isn't a "tourist" city, so there's not a whole lot of people that speak english. By not a whole lot I mean the entire city. I really thought that the entire world was learning english and at least the young ppl all spoke if fluently everywhere. Italy thinks Alan should stuff is english. I guess italian's been working well for a few thousand years, why change now? Jeremy and I just got back from a nice restaurant and only 1 waiter spoke a very small smidge of english. It was a mess, but we did manage to order food (thank god for pointing... that's pretty universal). I'm stuffed. I don't know if people really order both a primi piatti and secondi piatti. I thought they did. My stomach thinks otherwise.

Our hotel is miniature. My room (bed + bath) is about the size of our bedroom. The elevator fits 2 people. Ever see a 2 person elevator? Me neither. They exist though. It's cut though. Jason (guy from NYC that we're here with) says that italians don't do a lot of business travel so they don't need a big "home away from home" when it comes to their hotels; hence why they're hotels tend to be so small.

Daily Updates From Alan

Alan is in Italy this week for work. Without his permission I'm posting his daily updates. He's a funny man, my sweet husband!

An italian's day:

wake up, have some coffee

go to work and work for a bit

go have some more coffee

work for a bit more

go to lunch and have some coffee

work for a bit

coffee

go home

wine

There's a coffee shop everywhere. There's one downstairs.

Coffee can be either an expresso shot, which is *tiny*, think a thimble full of coffee something, or a cappuccino, which I've come to prefer. Cappuccino = 1 euro or about a buck fiddy.

Jeremy just said that if we don't leave here addicted to coffee, we will never be addicted to coffee. I concur.

Shhhhhhhh...

shhhhhh, I think knitted bowls are stupid looking. Don't tell anyone or they may take away my knitting needles.....

35 in a 50 every single day

Anyone who's talked to me while I'm driving down Germantown Pkwy knows how annoyed I get at all of those jackassed Memphis drivers who go 35 in a 50. It's like that every. single. time. I drive down that street. I'm not kidding! It drives me nuts! Tonight I decided yelling GO! MF'ers! doesn't work no matter how loud I yell it.

So, if you can't beat crazy, then join in the party. I'm going to roll the windows down and wave my hand out the drivers side window princess style while, every 50 feet or so, chuck handfuls of cheap candy out the passenger side window. If they want to drive like their in a freaking parade, then, by God, I am, too.

Busy week

Our moving checklist is getting smaller and smaller. We took off the HUGE storm windows for the family room and kitchen today and washed them. What a pain in the butt! Thank god for Neighbors-on-Call to help get the glass back in place! Hey Tanya, you should start a business and call it that!

I painted our bedroom yesterday.

I painted the fireplace last week.

Cleaned out our closet and donated a bunch of clothes and shoes.

Things left on the Skye To-Do List:

• Screens to replace on some of the windows
• Remove the two front picture window glass, wash, and replace.
  
• Stuff to put on the wood floors make them shine
• Paint the upstairs hall
• Clean out the rest of the closets
• Paint the kitchen
  

Alan has his own list, but he can keep up with his stuff all by himself. He's good that way.

By the way, does everyone know we're moving back to Dallas? Kind of pertinent info for this post to make sense. heh.