This has been a week of life and death. Kiwi's father passed away unexpectedly Sunday night and Kayla had her baby Tuesday morning.
I expected the death to bring about a rehashing of feelings from my dad's death, but what it actually brought was a strong urge to protect Kiwi from the sorrow I know she will have for such a long time to come. I wish I could put her and her brother and sisters in a cocoon to prevent them from having to learn the hard way that it doesn't get easier with time, it just gets different. It's a different kind of grief - the grief we have 14 years later. It becomes part of you, changes you.
For me grief makes me more selective who I give my love to. If you are one of my chosen, know I will go to the mat for you. I am there whenever, whatever you need. I will forgive and forget. Really, I forget stuff. I'm not someone who can forgive but continue to hold onto negative things. The few times I have forgiven and not forgotten? Well, look around, those people are no longer in my world.
As for Kayla, her and the baby are doing wonderful. Anthony was born at 11:09am, is 7lbs 3oz and 19in long. And he's beautiful. We're going to see him tomorrow and I'll post lots of pictures for everyone to ohhh and ahhh over.
2 months ago