Thursday, March 31, 2011

Letter to Aunt Joyce

Letter to my Aunt in response to her email:

Dear Aunt Joyce,

(Personal personal personal... (go check your email for this stuff))

I've been concerned about Cortland for a while. The pediatrician said to just wait and see - up until our last visit in January when he found out that C still hadn't said mommy (he said mom once and I haven't heard it since and boy, have I been listening for it!) and didn't point to things he wants or needs. Like milk, juice, food... You know how a mother just "knows" when there's something not right? Yeah, that's how I felt.

So we called ECI, a county program that evaluates young children and recommends a course of action. He started speech therapy with Jen in February, and it has made a discernible difference. No consistant talking yet, but we get pointing now, and he's doing lots more back and forth playing with us. He's communicating and that's huge. He's even had a few temper tantrums. heh. Who in their right mind would be thrilled about that?! Me, that's who.

Jen brought in an occupational therapist because she noticed that he has low muscle tone. Jen said that the low muscle tone exacerbates the no speech thing. He can't turn door knobs; he sits in a W; he lays on the floor to push cars back and forth for very long periods of time; his tongue still peeps out of his mouth when he's in a relaxed state (which is often); he will stay reclined on the couch for hours if we would let him.

******ETA - Wow, rereading this makes my child sound like a potato! He's totally not! He smiles and runs around and pushes his shopping cart and all kinds of kid stuff. He loves to color and draw on his easel and paint and play with play-do and dig in the dirt and run on the playground.... The things listed in the paragraph above and the rest of the post below are just the trouble-spots! Not the whole-spot. Holy-cow. He's not a little lump by any means!

Jen also brought in a social therapist for lack of eye contact, not responding to his name (which he is responding to much more now), and not interacting with people around him. He will play with stuff but, if you really observe, when playing with him he doesn't often follow you around to see what you're doing.

As much as I would like to think that's just his personality, it's not typical for a toddler and following and imitating us is how toddlers learn. If he's not imitating and showing any interest in what we're doing, (ie. getting under our feet when we're trying to sew, cook, knit, scrub floors) then he isn't learning all he needs to. He likes to be in his own little world.

That's not to say he doesn't act like a kid. He does engage sometimes. He is so pleasant, in fact, that I wondered if a social therapist was even necessary. I LOVE how easy a kiddo he is, Only problem is that he isn't supposed to be this easy!

I know, crazy to want to mess with a good thing. But he is easy because he's not engaging with the real world and just because we like the whole can-leave-him-in-a-room-and-know-he-won't-mess-with-anything thing doesn't mean that's what's best for him.

He needs to have the natural curiosity of a toddler. He NEEDS to get into stuff and challenge authority and all of the other stuff kids do or he won't learn what he's supposed to be learning right now.

He is the absolute sweetest little boy. And someday soon I hope he will give me a hug and call me mommy. That he will reach up for me when I come to his room in the morning to get him out of bed. That when I pick him up he will wrap his legs and arms around me and hold on tight. But those things can't happen without also opening the door to all of the other typical characteristics of two year olds.

I'm good with that. I look forward to the day that I can't sit next to him and knit for 1 1/2 hours with him never tryig to steal my needles and mess with my yarn or even trying to get my attention. I am willing to trade that hour and a half if it means that Cortland will be engaged in life around him.

Love you Aunt Joyce and thank you for your caring.


Friday, March 25, 2011


Cortland and Lucas playing in the water.

Cortland's World

This little boy right here:

Has a trifecta of therapists.

This is hard for me, not so much for C. Of course that's what the What Therapist is for. She's the one I don't think C and I are going to like much. Her job is to teach me how to pull Cortland out of his world and into ours. (And she said if he won't come out, then we are just going to invite ourselves into his for awhile.)

Everyone has an opinion on this and I think that's why I haven't posted about it before now. I don't want to have my thoughts validated or debated. I just need to stew for a bit.

I know Alan and his mom opine that the therapists are just covering all their bases (asses) and maybe going a little overboard. I hear what Marla is saying when she points out that it's the therapist job to look for even the slightest out of normal range issues and address them - even the smallest little things. And I respect that Alan doesn't think, as he says. "C is that much different than other 2 year olds."

But it's scary when I'm the only one who hears the therapist relate in what way my baby is a titch off center. Hell, I already know because I get to see every. single. day. how he is different from other kids his age.

He is so happy and funny and wonderful in so many ways. Just if only he would let me in to see his secret.

As my mom said, it feels a little like I've unleashed the Furies.