I broke my Murano last week. I hit the wrought iron gate that goes into the backyard with my back tire. After I was finished it was flat and the wheel was turned at a 30 degree angle. Utterly broken.
The tow truck driver had to carefully drive my broken car onto the flatbed because he said he couldn't get his truck through our gate. I chuckled and said that I apparently couldn't drive my truck through the gate either.
Tanya is watching the fish while we're out and this is the email I recently received:
Did i tell you about one of your fish? The little clown fish? He was SO CUTE!!! When i feed them i like to sit on the bench and watch them for about ten minutes making sure everybody is A L I V E and everything. I was watching them all dart around and i noticed this one teeny tiny little guy darting back and forth but do you know what? He had a Big Orange Ball on top of his nose! He did! I kept watching wondering if it was a growth or something but it would float above him now and then and then back it went on his nose. He finally abandoned it when he went after a smaller piece of food. It was just one of the larger fish food balls he had been toting around. He was SO CUTE! I want to make him a little outfit to wear when he does his act again. Do you think it would be hard to keep a pointy hat on his little head? There is no real chin to hold the elastic strap. Hmmm. I'll have to think about this.
Alan took Cortland to Grandma's today and I get to have a Skye Day all to myself to do with what I want. Ahhhh! I feel lighter already without a diaper bag hooked to my shoulder.
Granted, the most amazing thing is to wake up to a little face smiling because he sees his mommy and wants to snuggle and play. But now they are gone and I have a vast day ahead of me of doing whatever I want.
I had breakfast with the most amazing man. His name is Andy and he's from the UK. He is a engineer of DNA equipment ad owns his own business. He he used to be a truck driver, but it was such a boring life and, he said, as he watched many of the other drivers have heart attacks and die at 60, he did not want his life to pass like that.
Andy said that the TX heat is much like India.
The rest of my day is going to be filled with playing with my girlfriends, but for the next hour I'm going to revel in silence and the lack of responsibility for another human life.
About the time I feel like an adult I get hit with old insecurities that I had as a kid.
I wonder if I'm a good enough friend to people who have supported me through so many good and bad things. I wonder if I listen with the impartial ear that others have given me. I hope I have given advice only when asked and been non-judgmental when everyone else has judged.
My mom once told me that no matter what she is ALWAYS on my side. Always. That's the kind of person I try to be to my friends. Right or wrong I am always going to be on their side.
I've lost touch with so many friends that played a huge part in my life at one time or another. Scott Hobson and Erin Turner were my best friends for many years, but I don't talk to them anymore. Life has a way of going on and people seem to get lost in the shuffle. I think of them every day and wonder what they are doing and thinking. What they would think of the adult I've become.
I recently called an old friend and we're going to see each other this weekend. I can't wait to see her and her wonderful family. I don't know how we lost our relationship so long ago.
I'm not feeling regret so much today as hope that maybe some of the people I lost still think fondly of me and that bridges haven't been permanently burned.
I was so lucky that my cousin Sherry grabbed my camera and recorded my mom and I dancing at my cousins wedding. Lucky not because we are such great dancers, but because my mom is the best family a girl could ever choose. I'm getting teary right now. It hits me so hard sometimes how close I came to never getting moments like this ever again.