Monday, November 12, 2012

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Bumming Around

My husband just came home and said a friend from Austin called and invited him to come down for the  UT game this weekend. He told me, "That sounded pretty cool, but then I thought..." (and here's where he just started floating in a boat down Shit Creek without a paddle) "...nah, I think I'll just want to be boring bum around the house all weekend like we always do." (and then the boat capsizes)

My response was less than stellar. "Bum around the house like you always do? If you want to go then I'm okay with that, but know that you will be leaving a normal wife and returning to a crazy person. Please don't think I look forward to weekends because I miss having the freaking lawn mowed!"

With Cortland hanging on Alan's back while he's juggling a baby and I'm making supper, "See that? See this thing you're doing right now? That's the 'bumming around' we do!"

"So I don't care if you go. Truly, you deserve some time off, but I better get some acknowledgment that your going will turn me into a crazy person by Sunday, and not just because I got 'bored' 'bumming around!'"

I think jewelry would help.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Poops and Heritage

Much blog fodder in a three minute timeframe.

MOMMY: Who has poops?

CORTLAND: Me! I have poops! Jesus poops.

MOMMY: Well, yes. I imagine Jesus pooped.

A couple seconds later...

MOMMY: Oh Cortland! You have MAN poops. ***gaggaggag***

MOMMY: Your Grandpa Gunn had poops that smelled awful like this. You got this trait from him. You never met him, but boy did his poops stink.... You would have liked him.

CORTLAND: Did he like corn? I have Man Poops!

MOMMY: Yeah. Oh joy.

As a Matter of Written Record:

If a day is missed the 30 days DOES NOT start over, the missing day just gets tacked onto the end.

Heh, it's in writing so it can't be changed, Alan. Ha!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

My Princess Crown is Tilted

Just so you all know that despite the ever-amazing persona I put forth, sometimes my days are just meant to be gotten through.

Email response just sent to a good friend:

I'm mad at my work mates today, too. Cortland is complaining about everything and is carting - literally carting - stuffed animals to the kitchen while I'm making dinner. And Sticky is s.o.b.b.i.n.g because I yelled "NO!!!!!" at him when his hand grabbed the oven door. Thank god it was the top oven and it was just the cool seal and not metal. 
I got no sleep because Sticky picked up on the crazy llama-drama concerning his his mommy and daddy during trick or treating last night. He was on high alert all night. Holding him, rocking in a chair with his eyes wide open. It was heartbreaking. So now he's exhausted but won't go to sleep for naps.  
Of course this very second both are eating spaghetti and laughing. Sticky is making Cortland laugh by rubbing sauce all over his belly like it's lotion and Cortland is making Sticky laugh by smearing sauce all over his face in an imitation of Sticky. 
And somehow I made up this crazy '30 days of sex challenge' with Alan and I DO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW THROUGH TONIGHT BECAUSE WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO IS PUT IN EARPLUGS AND SLEEP THIS DAY GONE. Too much information???  
I love you! I feel better already just venting.

So there you have it. It's not the most normal of my days, but it is still one of those days.