The sky is calling me. The stars, oh how they twinkle. The breeze. The blessed breeze. I am tempted to sleep in a tent in the backyard.
So the stars aren't visible in Dallas and there is no breeze. But at least the air is cooler outside than in. How can that be, you ask? It's midnight and 81°, you say? Well let me just tell you, OUR FRIGGING AIR-CONDITIONER BROKE. DEAD. DIED. GONNOROONI TO THE GREAT A/C CLOUD IN THE SKY.
And to make matters worse, being TX and all and hot like the devil's feet in wool socks, we only have screens on 1/3 of our windows. People don't need screens as they never open windows. Ever. It's still 80ยบ in December for heavens sake. That's cool enough to have the heater on! I would rather boil in my own sweat than let a spider sneaky-sneak into my happy home. Not that opening the windows that are screened has helped, as there is. no. breeze in this God-forsaken desert.
Box fan? What is this you speak of? The last one I saw was pulled from Tanya's attic for us to use when the air went out in Memphis. Jinxed! We're jinxed and I don't mind telling you that I think it runs in the family much like mental illness. (Not that we're all half a dip shy of plumb. Please don't come storm the castle all you crazy Roehl/Anderson peeps)
My Mom hit a donkey at 65 mph last week - the same week our water heater broke. Yeah, you heard me. Cold bathes for 5 days last week (did you see my slip in that my Mom Hit A Donkey? How does that happen? So random!) And this week my Mom's huge, finished basement flooded 2 inches deep because her furnace sprung a leak. Hideously horrible bad luck has befallen the Gunn girls this month.
Off to eat more ice cream. Mom, you with me? What do we want? ICE CREAM. When do we want it? NOW!
(I totally taught that chant to Cortland Monday, but with pancakes)
PS - Yes her furnace sprung a leak. It's some fancy highfalutin water heated machine with the obvious lifespan of 8 years. We know this because that's when her last major flood happened.
PPS - I bet Donkey Heaven is air-conditioned.
PPPS - No, not serious about the tent thing. Please refer to paragraph 3.