Monday, November 1, 2010

Tell Me a Secret

Every night for years I used to ask Alan to tell me a secret.
Me: Honey? Are you asleep? Tell me a secret.
Alan: I'm an open book. No secrets.

Me: Just something. Anything. Honey? Honey? Are you awake? Honey?

Alan: I have a freckle behind my left knee.

Me: Whatever. Good night.

Now I want to know why, after all of those chances, Alan never mentioned the one thing that would be a deal breaker. DEAL BREAKER.

Alan likes scary Zombie shows. What is that? How did this get past me? I mean ACK!

And worse, he KNOWS I have a penchant for self-denial and lack of self-awareness. So when he asked me if I wanted to watch Walking Dead, the new show on AMC, he took me at my word that 'Of Course I would!' Sad shows with lots of hopelessness and despair? Right up my alley! And Zombies to boot? Yay! Bring it on!

Does he not KNOW me? Does he not remember the haunted house fiasco of 2003?????




11 comments:

Brightfield Farm said...

you know, given the state of decay that particular zombette is experiencing, her eyes wouldn't be holding such angst, and WHA? Stop! Is she NEKKID?!???? ew. Nice fingernails though

Holding my Breath said...

She's only half a zombie! Half! Her entrails were dragging behind her like WORMS!

Brightfield Farm said...

and please tell me how a zombette can have such LOVELY perfect eyebrows? That is just not fair. Not fair at all. Stoopid freaking zombies and their stupid freaking perfect manicures and perfect stupid eyebrows. Did she get them threaded before her trip out or what? Not. Fair.

Unknown said...

Nice nails, yes, but stay away from the girl that does the facials, for sure!!

Unknown said...

Skye, did you need to have Alan put a lock on the bed last night??

Holding my Breath said...

I did need a lock! Maybe then I wouldn't have had the weirdest dreams in the whole wide world. Candy store nightmares. Haven't had those in years. I probably even walked around in my sleep!

Brightfield Farm said...

clearly this was pretend because 1. hello! WHO would leave the house like that (well other than people with whom i currently work) 2. wouldn't her entrails be um, gone if she was all ick looking? Off Topic-go look at my blog and see how pretty my kitchen looks with green. I may be changing the rug or something.

Anonymous said...

read your email before you paint the doors

Brightfield Farm said...

will you please put another picture of cortland up so we can stop being grossed out by my coworker wanna be's picture up there?she's scarry looking and i hate her trailing entrails.

Brightfield Farm said...

poor bicycle girl...(learned her name! She has a cult following!)

Brightfield Farm said...

THANK YOU!