Swimming and Berries

Cute thing overheard at lunch today:

Cortland: (looking at Lucas eating blueberries) Those are strawberries!

Lucas: Nuh-uh. They're blue. They're grapeberries.

Cortland: Oh ya, grapeberries!

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In other news, sometimes I'm smacked right between the eyes with the knowledge that my son isn't the same as other kiddos. He has come so far and it's amazing how much he has accomplished in the last year. His motor-planning has increased to almost age appropriate. I forget, I guess, how much work he's done to get this far and how long it's taken to get him to do and try new things. Remember when he wouldn't swing or go down a slide? Yeah, I do too.

He is taking group swim lessons this month. Or I should say he was taking group swim lessons this month. After the second lesson (tonight) I went and talked to the lesson coordinator at the Y about switching him to private lessons. Cortland's instructor was spending 1/2 of the class just trying to get C off the steps and in the water. After he would get him in, Cortland would scream and scream (and scream and scream and scream). It wasn't fair to the other students who, after 1 1/2 classes, were already jumping in off the side and starting to doggie-paddle around.

After class I talked to the teacher and he suggested C take a class for kids with "special needs." (Air quotes and all)

I didn't realize how great it's been this summer not seeing Cortland surrounded by so-called normal kids. We see kids at the occupational therapist and Lucas. Lucas has a special connection with Cortland. He adapts his play so the differences aren't screamingly obvious like they are at the playground or even in C's school videos last year.

I almost forgot what this lump in my throat feels like. Schools starts next week so I guess I'd better get used to it.

ETA: I forgot to tell you that this summer I experienced what Cortland must feel like on uneven surfaces (and possibly in a swimming pools and swings and trampolines and steps.) I went down one of those tube-type water slides and when I popped out at the end I didn't know up from down. Completely disoriented. I didn't like it at all! I even did it a couple more times to see if I could get used to the sensation. Nope. Sucked every time.

So if you get an opportunity to do a water slide - Do. It. Even if that means you have to get into a bathing suit in public.

My How the Mighty Have Fallen

We passed our queen sized bed on to a friend last week and this week Kayla, my niece, and her son are visiting. So yesterday I called Sleep Experts to see if they keep twin mattresses in stock.

The conversation went very much like this:

ME: Hi, please tell me you keep twin beds in stock.

ANDREW: We keep twin beds in stock.

ME: The WHOLE bed. Frame, mattress and that one thingy. You know the square thing on the bottom. Ugh, can't remember what it's called!

ANDREW: Box spring. The whole bed. Right here. In our store.

ME: And that tiny, skinny little bed will be less than $300 for all of it, right? Because really, how can something so little cost that much?

ANDREW: We can work within that price range...

ME: But not a crappy one because how horrible of a hostess would I be if, not only did I make my guest sleep on a balance beam, but a HARD, LUMPY balance beam.

ANDREW: It's a good bed. I promise.

ME: Yay me! You'll still be there in ten minutes when I get there? You? Not someone that I'll have to go through this all over again with? Promise?

ANDREW: I'm here alllllll day...

ME: See you in 10!

(Still wondering if he tried to sneak out the back)

And that's how I became that annoying fool I'm forever rolling my eyes at, tootling down the road with a bed set hanging out of my trunk with the hatch tied down with bailing wire and duct tape.

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And in other news we will have one of these to put together on Friday!


The foster parenting classes are moving right along. We will be finished with training the middle of September and then we'll have a homestudy and (hopefully) licensing.

Itty Bitty Sweater!

I just unlocked the reason I love the movie Coraline, her sweaters are hand knitted. Tiny little clothes knitted by fingers! Big fingers! So cool I almost peed my pants.









  PS - Totally unrelated - The answer is 2 hours.

Gymnastics

After watching the women's gymnastic competition tonight I got to wondering when it got so flippy. I remember watching the 1976 Olympics and deciding then and there that I wanted to be one of those girls. I wanted to be Nadia Comaneci and that was all there was to it.

*I know, who remembers stuff from when they were three? I remember that and so many other things from early, early. I was shocked to learn that many people don't have recollections that far back. Who knew?*

Anyway, so I'm sitting here with Alan and sucking in my breath every time one of the girls jumps or flips or flops and think, "I don't remember it being so scary." I almost broke a needle getting so worked up.

My curiosity led me to this website and a history of the Uneven Bars. If you get a chance take a peek. The video called Uneven Bars Developments (50s - 2010) is cool - if you're into this sort of stuff.

And yeah, did you catch that Alan watched with me? All of those times of sitting quietly through basketball games and it's now PAYBACK!

Essay for Foster to Adopt

I grew up as an only child and loved it. Both of my parents were raised in the age of corporal punishment and made the decision that I would not be raised in that environment. And I wasn't. Spanking and time-outs were foreign concepts to me. That doesn't mean I wasn't removed from a situation when misbehaving - I was. With my parents. We would have to go home and there was no more fun at the park, friends house, toy store, etc. Or, heaven forbid, I would have to sit next to my mom or dad with the grown-ups if I was acting out somewhere. I knew what was expected and the expectations were consistant.

People tell me now how well-behaved my son Cortland, who is three, is and I know it's because I learned from my parents that consistency on the parents part is a must. Ah! I sound so proud of myself, don't I? I'm actually very proud of him. We have our fair share of corrections to behavior, but, for the most part, we we're blessed with an exceptionally easy-to-redirect child.

My memories of childhood are happy. I remember spending fun summers with my grandma, aunt and cousins in Iowa. There were Penny Hunts and birthday parties and always lots of family and friends around. I loved playing board games like Forest Friends, Sorry and Trouble with my parents. When I got older it was card games Skip-Bo, Uno and Gin. It's funny now, but I was always a little annoyed that my teenage friends would rather sit around the kitchen table on a Friday night with my parents and me and play Gin. Now I can only hope that Cortland's friends feel the same when he gets older. I learned early that I wouldn't always win, and that was okay. Learning how to lose graciously has served me well in life.

My teen years were hard. I was an emotional kid and tended to speak my mind. I took to heart injustices to myself and to those around me. I had issues recognizing which "causes" to plant my flag and which to just let go. My parents provided counseling on and off from the time I was 13 - 18 so I could have someone to talk through the daily complexities of being a teenager. They knew I would have things I just couldn't talk to them about and they were okay with that. I know now how hard that was on my mom especially. I'm so glad she didn't try to be my best friend then, and, because of that, she is my best friend now.

The next chapter in my life was quite the learning experience. I was married to my high-school sweetheart at 19. He was an artist and came from a very different family situation than I did. I accept now (after many, many books and lots of counseling) that  you can't "fix" someone. I wanted my marriage to be like my parents marriage. A marriage of partnership, love, trust, kindness and respect. That is not what I got. I tried for 10 years to make that happen and finally had an epiphany that my then husband didn't know how - and wasn't willing to learn - to have a marriage like that.

I have thought hard about whether, if given the chance, I could erase and do over those years between 16 and 30. I wouldn't. I know that those experiences have shaped me to be the person I am today and shaped the choices I have made in the last nine years that have manifested in the life I lead today.

My husband and I were friends before we started dating. He just understood me. He got my personality and my sense of humor. It was (and still is) easy to be with him. He's my best friend. I know everyone says marriage isn't supposed to be easy, it takes work and sometimes struggle - I don't buy that. Been there, done that and it was not fun. Being married to Alan is fun. We disagree and we have struggles in life that we work through together. But our actual marriage? Not a struggle.

Alan and I have had to deal infertility. We have been through two ectopic pregnancies and one failed round of IVF. (Not to mention my poor husband got to deal with an hormonal nut-case for two years. One year while on hormone shots during two rounds of IVF and 35 weeks of pregnancy! That man deserves a medal!) We also held hands during the 5 1/2 week early delivery of our son and the subsequent 10 days he was in NICU. But we did it together and somehow that made it bearable.

My life today is blessed. I still hate doing laundry and dishes (who doesn't!) and, being a stay-at-home-mom, those are part of my job description. I drive my son to his occupational and speech therapy twice a week and he sees a funcional neurologist twice a month for his motor-planning and low-tone issues. I am in charge of making sure that OT is incorporated in his at home play. Which means I make sure Alan knows what's going on with Cortland's therapy and how he can make his playtime beneficial, too. We also have weekly play-dates with friends. And on Friday we do a fun outing - anything from just going out to eat at a sit-down restaurant (to practice table manners) to going to the Dallas Aquarium or the waterpark.

As for me, I love to knit. That is my downtime. I could bore to to pieces with why I love to knit and how enjoyable and calming it is to me. I also work out at the YMCA three(ish) times a week. Every Sunday we spend the day at my in-laws in Arlington. I love having family so close and am especially lucky that I love my in-laws and think of them as friends. Time at their house is relaxing and peaceful. I also read. Right now I'm reading books about fun activities to do in the summer with a sensory kid, but I just finished up the King of Thrones series, so it's not all work-reading.

Alan and I have always wanted another child. We thought long and hard about trying IVF again and about straight adoption. The money issue is the reason we decided not to go that route, but not for the obvious reasons. We can afford either option, but feel that money is better spent on education for Cortland or any other child we would be lucky enough to have. Foster to Adopt is a win-win. I feel like there is so much more I could be doing for the community and loving children is what I excel at. I know that whatever loving foundation I can provide for a child will be paramount to my own emotional ramifications reunification would mean. It's not about me, it's all about the child.

Random Things

Dunk Trucks
La-La is now Cor-yan
Gracie Twinkle (Her real name is Grace Ann Von Twinkle)
Sire (spider) (he's about as found of those as lillards)
Pertily. (Mommy, you pertily."
While petting Grandpa's face, "Oh Grampa, you broken."

Favorite meal - Miso soup and rice. Also fond of chicken nuggets and fries. And peanut butter and white jelly. (White jelly is generic honey with a white label)

He can't pronounce so many words, but he can and does say Mary Irene, his speech therapists name.

The Lillard

The Lizards are working against me.

I love lizards. They eat spiders. I love anything that eats, maims, or otherwise decreases the numbers of spiders in the world. Ladybugs? My best friends.

My son on the other-hand has taken quite a bit of coaxing to accept lizard's as a wonderful creature that deserves parades and the honor of having libraries named after them for there work in spider population control. About the time I have him convinced that lizard's are an animal to be revered, this week happens.

Saturday C was in a bubble bath and all of the sudden leapt straight up out of the water and landed right in my lap on the floor. He was crying hysterically and screaming "LILLARD! LILLARD! LILLARD! In the BUBBLES!!!! IT GONNA GET MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

Alan and I cleaned out the bubbles (one scoop at a time into the sink. Do you KNOW how long a sink fullof bubbles takes to pop? All day.) and found the baby lizard who had made the unfortunate choice of sleeping in Cortland's green Mega Blox. We convinced Cortland this was a one-time thing and that lizards don't usually come inside to play.

Later that evening Cortland found another baby lizard in the corner of our bedroom where he was playing. "THE LILLARD!!!!!!!!!!!!" Notice that lizards have now taken on a title. The Lizard.

Moving right along to this morning about 3AM.

"THELILLARD!!!!!!!!!!THELILLARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!INMEBEDTHELILLARDINMYBED!!!!!!!
IN.MY.BED!!!!!!!!!THE.LIZARD.IN.MY.BEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We slept the rest of the night in the guest room and The Lizard has now taken on the same power over Cortland that spiders have on me.

Peachy.

I Can Come Back to Life!

Cats. The women in my family are cats. No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise.

My 89 year old Grams had knee surgery today and came through that wonderfully. It was only after she had been in her room a bit that she coded. She stopped breathing and after they brought her back she was unresponsive to pain and wasn't waking up. She coded a second time and poof, she was all of the sudden able to answer questions by blinking and was able to make fists with both hands.

She is still on a ventilator tonight because the doctor said that with the broken ribs from the CPR a ventilator would make it more comfortable to breath. The doctor also said that she would have NEVER thought this would be the outcome. That my Grams is a crazy-strong miracle. (paraphrased)

1st my mom and now my Grams. Cats. I think I'm going to take up skydiving since I know that I will live through anything!

BTW - Alan said he was not worried. "Grams is a tough old bird and nothing can keep her down. A German tank." He loves her!

If you would like to send a card my Grams, Eileen Roehl,  she is at Pratt Regional Medical Center, 200 Commodore, Pratt, KS 67124.

This picture was taken Spring 2012 with Joycelyn and Joy. Joycelyn is the little girl my Grams babysits.

Uncle Butch and Grams 09/11

Interesting

Not a reference to C, just interesting.

Most Unrewarding Career

Being a neurologist has got to be one of the most thankless jobs. No matter how good a job the neurologist does, the patient and family members are almost always dissatisfied with the result.

Now Plastics is the field to be in. Almost everyone is happy with their new boobs and chin implants.

ETA: Cortland is fine. This is in reference to Kiwi. She's now has two tumors and a brain bleed. She's doing great, otherwise. She's starting heavy-duty radiation soon.

Alan

Everybody knows what high regard I hold my husband, from my family all the way to the car salesman this weekend... (oh, my god please for the love of all that is holy please stop talking about your amazing spouse....)

That's all well and good but I don't always get to hear what my husband thinks of me. He's a man of few words, I'm sure most have noticed.

Tonight a guy came to our door asking for a signature on a petition and a donation to whatever cause he was promoting. Alan signed the petition because it was for a good cause, but I told the man we don't give money at the door and I asked him to leave his info and we would check it out. He started to say something else and I just politely repeated that we don't give money at the door. (He was super sweet and not pushy at all.)

After the guy left Alan told me it was because of the way I handle situations like that that when he was filling out some paperwork for the bank last week he listed my employment as Management.

I'm not sure he could have said anything that would have made me more appreciated.

New Videos

On the shuttle bus to ride Thomas the Train


Riding Thomas the Train


This is the 1st time C has ever gotten into a bounce house because he wanted to. Ever. So proud of him.


This ended up not being allergies and is he feels half as bad as I do this week then he deserves a medal for being such a good boy!

Mockingbird

What nimrod came up with the idea that Mockingbirds are sacred creatures? I mean really, what ever happened to natural selection? What is it with the Mockingbird in our tree out back that announces all light long, "Tweet, tweet, tweet, here I am! Come eat me!" But nothing ever does?

Now, I'm not suggesting we make a national past-time out of skeet-shooting the beloved state bird of TX, TN, AR, MS and FL with BB guns. Just gently suggesting that maybe the owls need to step up there game a bit. What do they need, an engraved invitation to come sample the loud little crunchy snack with a sweet, gooey center that sings all night in our tree?

Going to See the Dinos!

We got to tour the Billings Productions warehouse where many of the dinosaurs are created that we see at zoos and museums all over the world. Thank you Nik, Cody and Lauren for this amazing experience!

Nik told us that many of the dinos that come in for repair are missing teeth because people steal them.

This picture is deceptive. Nik and Cortland are actually standing right next to that T-Rex on the left. It's HUGE!

Cody hanging out with the raptor

Heh! 

When finished this unpainted mold will roar and move. Cody said it takes five artists 2-3 days to airbrush the dinosaurs. The attention to detail is amazing. Everything is thought of down to the polished eyeballs.

Evie, Ethan and Cortland with a baby

Oh, the carnage!

I wanted C to put his head in there; or at least look at me from between its jaws, but he would have none of that!

Alan wasn't chicken! 

 

Nik Billings

After the fun

Vestibular Spinning Board

This is what we do a couple of times a day. This is obviously 1st thing in the morning if my hair is any indication.

We spin Cortland on his back counter-clockwise to help with his speech. And the side spin is done with C facing into the spin  and we can go either direction as long as he's going forward. This affects his vestibular system and helps with balance and coordination.

He actually asks to be spun now which leads me to believe that along with the obvious improvements we've seen, the spinning also makes him feel better.

Alan's dad made the board with 1/2 plywood cut to 38"x 24". He purchased a wooden lazy susan from Big Lots and then replaced the spinning part with one purchased from Home Depot that is rated up to 500 lbs. I then cut the corners off and covered with upholstery fabric over several layers of quilt liner.

I've never seen my actual expressions when trying to understand what Cortland is trying to say. Just so you know, I must make those faces a whole freaking lot since lately he's always trying to say something.

Youtube

I've been spending the last few days of free time uploading all of our videos to youtube. Lots of videos. I haven't watched them all so hope no one is picking their nose or yelling at children.

Mean Wolf Pups

Text last week between me and Jaqueline:

JAXs: I'm at the dentist now and should be at your house to pick up Lucas about 5 - is that ok?

ME: Fine and dandy

ME: I feel like I'm in a room with wild dogs. They're playing great now after threatening both with a nap. I'm sitting here making no sudden moves or making eye contact.


JAXs: LOL. They are like little wolf pups

ME: Yup. Mean evil wolf pups who will maul any who show weakness. I'm scared for the day they realize if they work together they could take me.


ME: I thought today was that day until their plan fell apart. Lucas got distracted by Thomas the train on and Cortland got stuck half in and out of his bed...

ME: And I live to see another day.

JAXs: Haha! You crack me up. They are trouble.

So, what do you do?

We went out tonight with Jaqueline and David to an art show that Jax's was a participant in. While there a very handsome artist asked me "So, what do you do?" Hell, I was floored when I couldn't come up with an answer. What do I do? I ferry my kid to lots of therapy. I knit. I write a blog - sometimes. But what else do I do? I feel fulfilled. I feel busy all the time. But what do I do?

For most people the answer is whatever their job is is what they do. David said I should have said I was in textiles since I make fabric. heh. I love him.

My Review - 9 Years Later Than the Rest

I'm a read-the-last-page-first kind of girl. Usually only with suspense thrillers because, really, who wants to spend a whole book falling in love with a character only to find out that love was misplaced because he killed all of those children and/or family pets? I mean seriously, If I'd followed my tried and true method of book reading with Harry Potter we could have avoided that whole Dobby fiasco. You there Tanya? Remember the hellishness of that dark time? Only a plate of sugar got me through that.

So when I started watching The X-Files on Hulu I only got through season 2 - episode 5 before I got all itchy to find out how that whole "The Answer is Out There" thing wrapped up. Huh. That's my reaction to that. Huh.

Does anyone else wonder if that Doggett character and the brown haired lady-agent felt a little slighted by the show finale? Do you think they knew all along that they would never really belong to the cast? That even long gone, Maulder and Sculley would not just overshadow but literally take over the storyline like they never left? That the writers wouldn't even bother to let us know if the replacement characters made it out of the desert? I hope they read the last page of their script so they weren't devastated to find out how inconsequential they really were.

A little Cheeky

My cousin is the sexiest person I know. If she's reading this now she is laughing her butt off, but it's because she totally doesn't know she is that makes her more so.

On Black Friday, instead of heading to the toy department of Wal-Mart (as if THAT would ever happen!), Corie and I headed to Victoria's Secret. She picked out lots of pretties for me and schooled me on the importance of matching sets. And not matching beige sets either. I love her.

Now if you get only one piece of info out of this whole post please let it be this:

It looks too sexy on the model to be comfortable, right? WRONG-O BUCK-A-ROO! No pantie lines, comfortable, and best of all they are flattering on my hips! No cutting in and accentuating lumps and bumps! And at the end of the day the sides aren't all bunched up. They were laying flat and pretty.

Corie is my hero. Thank you so much for introducing me to Cheeky, my new best friend.