Homeless

It's interesting how our views change as we get older. When I was 19 I thought I knew myself and never imagined that my "self" would ever be different than the one then and there.

But it did change. And now at 37 I feel like I don't know anything. Things are never quite as they seem. Situations have many angles and no viewpoint is cut and dry. There are too many variables. I won't ever know all there is to know about a topic to make an absolute, set in concrete, never change my mind stand on a topic. I can be firm on a decision, but I also know I need to listen to other sides. (my 19 year old self says this is a wishy-washy way to view life) (I wonder what my 72 year old self will say on the subject?)

On the radio today an announcer was dumbfounded that many homeless people have cell phones. He quoted Don Sisler, executive director the Union Gospel Mission from an article from the Star Tribune who said "... But those [homeless] who do use them to manage their lives, just like you and me."

The radio announcer, Mark Davis on 820AM in Dallas, couldn't fathom what in a homeless person's life would need to be managed. All I could think was; Is he serious??? Is he that narrow minded? What in the world was he thinking going on the radio and saying something that makes him sound so incredibly STUPID???

I wonder what my 19 year old self would have thought about homeless people having cell phones? Even at 19 I would hope that I could see more than one tiny little facet of the issue, unlike that Mark Davis guy. (I would love to call in and tell him what a moron he is, but it wouldn't do any good.)

My niece, for all intents and purposes, is homeless. I don't think she's ever slept under a bridge. (That would be my 19 year old self's definition of homeless) My 37 year old self's definition is if you don't have an address to forward mail when you move because you don't know where you'll be from one day to the next, then you are homeless.

She moves from one friends couch to the next. She won't or can't hold a job for more than a few weeks; doesn't have a drivers license; isn't in school; and she doesn't want any of those things in her life right now. And that's okay. (It's taken a lot of letting go for me to say that last sentence. I'm sort-of a fixer person and I've had to learn that my lifestyle is not the only lifestyle.) Her hair and clothes are clean and she eats regular meals. She comes for family holidays. She is happy with her life.

My niece has a cell phone and we have established that she is homeless. Her Grandma pays the bill on that phone. (I think she still does) It puts the whole family at ease to know that we can get in touch with my niece if we need to. And, more important, she can get in touch with us if she needs to.

I wonder how old this Mark Davis guy is? I hope he's only 19 and there is a chance he will learn to see more than one narrow little view of the world because it would be a shame for him to die and have his tombstone read:

"Mark Davis, he couldn't find his ass with both hands. Bless his heart."

Putting Together the Toys

I'm so excited for tomorrow morning that I can hardly stand it!!!!!


So I was sent to my mom's suitcase to find her camera battery charger and what do I find instead? $47.82 (mostly dimes and pennies) in change in a sandwich bag. Weirddddddddd. Usually I try not to mention when my mom is visiting in case some robber just happens to be traipsing through Kingman, KS, comes across my blog and thinks, "Hmmm, what an marvelous opportunity to steal some Celine Dion DVD's and a few million bottles of bath soaps."

Well now that I know my mom emptied her piggy bank before heading south, I don't feel nervous at all to say what a great time we've been having! But I do understand better my dad's constant complaints when he had to lift her suitcase.

Who in the HELL is THIS!!!!!

When did my baby start to look like a little boy???

Tell Me a Secret

Every night for years I used to ask Alan to tell me a secret.

Me: Honey? Are you asleep? Tell me a secret.

Alan: I'm an open book. No secrets.

Me: Just something. Anything. Honey? Honey? Are you awake? Honey?

Alan: I have a freckle behind my left knee.

Me: Whatever. Good night.

Now I want to know why, after all of those chances, Alan never mentioned the one thing that would be a deal breaker. DEAL BREAKER.

Alan likes scary Zombie shows. What is that? How did this get past me? I mean ACK!

And worse, he KNOWS I have a penchant for self-denial and lack of self-awareness. So when he asked me if I wanted to watch Walking Dead, the new show on AMC, he took me at my word that 'Of Course I would!' Sad shows with lots of hopelessness and despair? Right up my alley! And Zombies to boot? Yay! Bring it on!

Does he not KNOW me? Does he not remember the haunted house fiasco of 2003?????

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Cortland didn't want to stay in the picture at the Halloween party yesterday. I ran to the food table and grabbed a handful of candy corn and dropped the candy in the grass where I wanted C to sit. Within less than a minute the group disolved into chaos all around my little Longhorn. And still, there he sat...

and sat...

and sat...

and sat...

and sat...

and sat.

TrueMud

HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Watching Sesame Street with Cortland this morning, my head popped up (from its bored, drooling, almost coma-like state) when I heard the theme song for Trueblood.

Not quite sure how appropriate for kids, but so much less boring than Elmo (bless his heart).

Logic is Subjective

I sat down to knit a scarf with the new yarn that came in the mail today. One, two, where was the third skien? I looked in all the logical places; under my chair, the recycle bin where I put the box the yarn came in, the porch where I opened the box.

And then I started looking in the logical places Cortland would have put the yarn.

I found it in the sink.

Last Week

Cortland and I are home from KS. We brought Alan rain and Cortland a 104º temp. He's fine. Kids are resilient.

I haven't written about the reason we were in KS, yet. It's just been too hard of a subject to bring up. And I've also not wanted to make it seem like I thought it was about me. You know, when people whoa-is-me when something bad didn't even happen to them, but they want the sympathy?

A girlfriend and her husband lost a baby to SIDS two weeks ago and I went to the funeral. I am glad the family let unfamily attend.

I had never met the little boy, but I know his mom quite well, and she and her husband had waited for this baby for 9 years. The parents have a strong faith in God and right now seem to be handling things okay. Numbness helps.

While in KS, Cortland and I got to catch up with some of my old friends. We stayed the night with Dustin and Kristin Menzies and spent lots of time at Tasha Sears house with her and her kids. C had so much fun. Me too.

We stayed with my mom the rest of the week and popped over to Protection, KS to visit Andi Blair Dale Saturday. I haven't seen her is 100 years.

The End

Corie! Stop Stripping!

Corie, quit stripping your baseboards. Do this instead.

More Home Improvement

The internets say that the average lifespan of wallpaper paste is ten years.

My question is who is the contractor that sold his freaking soul to the devil to get the wallpaper paste on my bathroom wall??? This crap is like rhino snot! Seriously, I can tell that it's been on the wall for at least 20 years and it's still stuck on there like a nun's panties.

New Meds

Before you get an antibiotic for a UTI, urine has to be tested.

Before you get antibiotics for an infection, your blood is tested to see what meds will work on that specific infection.

But what kind of test is done for anti-depressants? What would happen if Alan, who doesn't need anti-depressants, takes Prozac?

I went to the doctor yesterday for a backache and while there I expressed concern that Celexa wasn't working for me the way it used to. I was perscribed Pristiq and was told that it has the seritonine reuptake inhibators like Celexa, as well as norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors. But what does that mean in layman's terms?

I just want to feel better. I want to not take 2 hour naps everyday. And I want to WANT to do dishes and fold laundry and take care of the house and my family like I used to. I want to WANT to leave the house and meet new people and do new things.

It seems that more people than ever take some kind of anti-depressant, but how do the doctors decide that someone needs to be on something like that and how do they know which drug to prescribe and how much to prescribe?

I also had a million vials of blood drawn to find out why my hair is falling out. I'll let you know what's going on with that when I find out.

Right side:


Left Side: My hair is growing back in whispy little bits; not like it was before.


On a positive note, because of these pictures I've decided not to dye my hair anymore. It's kind of a pretty color, isn't it? heh.

Lilly's baby sweater

Made this one for Carroll's little girl. Of course in TX she may grow out of it before she can wear it!

Chunky Cable Sweater

This is the baby sweater I finished for my Aunt Jeannie. Fun little pattern from the book Adorable Knits for Tots by Zoe Mellor.

And Then You Had a Duh Moment....

Of all the germy things in and around us, soap dispensers are the least of my worries. I mean, what's ALWAYS the next thing you do after touching the germy soap dispenser? You lick your fingers! Wrong, you wash your hands. Duh. Duh. Duh.

What a money-making gimmick.

Missing the James Family Already

We just had our 1st Memphis visitors!

Cortland's honorary cousins just left and it feels too quite already. We had so much fun playing and hanging out. And I swear Shauna's husband, Cullen, and Alan are twins separated at birth. It was such a great visit.

Left to Right: Tori, Cortland, Sarah and Gabriel

Shauna may kill me for posting her 3AM picture. One minute it was 10PM and the next thing I know it's three in the morning.

Wrapped Around His Finger

When he cries he looks just like the very 1st day; the very 1st minute he was born. God, he's got it all over me it's not even funny. Twist Mommy, twist!

Some Kids Eat the Stangest Things

Cortland loves Thai and Japanese food.

Alan cracks me up!


We have to work harder at not laughing when disciplining or he's going to know who's really the boss in this family.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Thank you Kooistras for Blue Buster. C still loves it.


Aunt Jeannie, can you hear the bug singing? He pulls it around all day long. He loves his bug!


Lilly and Kiwi came over to play today. We had lots and lots of fun.

What We've Been Up To This Summer

First of all, Cortland wanted me to tell you he loves you all THIIIISSSSSS much!


This is the coolest park ever. See all of that wood? It goes up and down and to slides and rings and tunnels and tire swings... A kid could get lost in there if he wasn't wearing a neon yellow shirt. Phew, thank goodness we just happen to have one.





We went to Nash Farms in Grapevine, TX to milk cows and pet chickens, but I couldn't get C away from the tractors and farm implements. Gee, who here is surprised?




Here he is doing his serious KS farmer face. He totally has it down. And those who know, doesn't his expression look like my dads?


Sometimes I take Cortland to the local kid cage along with the other moms who just. need. a. break.


Only kidding. It's called The Tubes. It's like a really big Chik-Fil-A playground, or a really small Going Bonkers, which is another place we've been, but I was afraid to take pictures. There were so many kids at Going Bonkers I was afraid the patients were about to take over the asylum.



Daddy and Cortland finding animals in the clouds.


Concentrating REALLY hard.


And laughing a whole bunch!

Cancer

I want to vent and throw things and yell profanities, but Carroll's husband, and hopefully someday Carroll, will read this post and I want to keep things as positive as possible. It's a raging war in my head between emotions and conventionality.

Carroll (Kiwi) has brain cancer. It's a level/grade IV astrocytoma. Hers was a primary tumor, meaning it started in her brain, not metastasized from somewhere else in her body. It was removed last Wed and the doctor said he got it all. They estimate it grew to the size of a ping-pong ball in less than 6 months.

Brain cancer rarely spreads to other parts of the body. I guess it figures it's found the Holy Grail with the brain, and it's doesn't have to look any further. She has already started chemo and will continue for 6 months. She starts 6 weeks of radiation the beginning of August.

She has been a trooper through all of this. As she says, "It is what it is." . She says she's scared which to me means she's got her wits about her. I would have been more worried if she wasn't. She is enjoying her daughter and husband and is just taking it easy.