Life and Other Nonsense

Youtube

2012-01-26T11:13:00.000-06:00

I've been spending the last few days of free time uploading all of our videos to youtube. Lots of videos. I haven't watched them all so hope no one is picking their nose or yelling at children.

Mean Wolf Pups

2012-01-17T20:35:00.000-06:00

Text last week between me and Jaqueline:

JAXs: I'm at the dentist now and should be at your house to pick up Lucas about 5 - is that ok?

ME: Fine and dandy

ME: I feel like I'm in a room with wild dogs. They're playing great now after threatening both with a nap. I'm sitting here making no sudden moves or making eye contact.

JAXs: LOL. They are like little wolf pups

ME: Yup. Mean evil wolf pups who will maul any who show weakness. I'm scared for the day they realize if they work together they could take me.

ME: I thought today was that day until their plan fell apart. Lucas got distracted by Thomas the train on and Cortland got stuck half in and out of his bed...

ME: And I live to see another day.

JAXs: Haha! You crack me up. They are trouble.

So, what do you do?

2012-01-14T22:55:00.000-06:00

We went out tonight with Jaqueline and David to an art show that Jax's was a participant in. While there a very handsome artist asked me "So, what do you do?" Hell, I was floored when I couldn't come up with an answer. What do I do? I ferry my kid to lots of therapy. I knit. I write a blog - sometimes. But what else do I do? I feel fulfilled. I feel busy all the time. But what do I do?

For most people the answer is whatever their job is is what they do. David said I should have said I was in textiles since I make fabric. heh. I love him.

My Review - 9 Years Later Than the Rest

2011-12-02T23:36:00.004-06:00

I'm a read-the-last-page-first kind of girl. Usually only with suspense thrillers because, really, who wants to spend a whole book falling in love with a character only to find out that love was misplaced because he killed all of those children and/or family pets? I mean seriously, If I'd followed my tried and true method of book reading with Harry Potter we could have avoided that whole Dobby fiasco. You there Tanya? Remember the hellishness of that dark time? Only a plate of sugar got me through that.

So when I started watching The X-Files on Hulu I only got through season 2 - episode 5 before I got all itchy to find out how that whole "The Answer is Out There" thing wrapped up. Huh. That's my reaction to that. Huh.

Does anyone else wonder if that Doggett character and the brown haired lady-agent felt a little slighted by the show finale? Do you think they knew all along that they would never really belong to the cast? That even long gone, Maulder and Sculley would not just overshadow but literally take over the storyline like they never left? That the writers wouldn't even bother to let us know if the replacement characters made it out of the desert? I hope they read the last page of their script so they weren't devastated to find out how inconsequential they really were.

A little Cheeky

2011-11-27T11:29:00.006-06:00

My cousin is the sexiest person I know. If she's reading this now she is laughing her butt off, but it's because she totally doesn't know she is that makes her more so.

On Black Friday, instead of heading to the toy department of Wal-Mart (as if THAT would ever happen!), Corie and I headed to Victoria's Secret. She picked out lots of pretties for me and schooled me on the importance of matching sets. And not matching beige sets either. I love her.

Now if you get only one piece of info out of this whole post please let it be this:

It looks too sexy on the model to be comfortable, right? WRONG-O BUCK-A-ROO! No pantie lines, comfortable, and best of all they are flattering on my hips! No cutting in and accentuating lumps and bumps! And at the end of the day the sides aren't all bunched up. They were laying flat and pretty.

Corie is my hero. Thank you so much for introducing me to Cheeky, my new best friend.

Cable Scarf

2011-11-12T12:04:00.007-06:00

US9 needle. Sugar bunny in white by Knitpicks

Cast on 51.

Knit one row.

1st Row (WS): K4, P2, K2, P4, K2, P2, K2, P15, K2, P2, K2, P4, K2, P2, K4.

2nd Row (RS): K2, P2, Tw2R, P2, K4, P2, Tw2R, P2, K15, P2, Tw2L, P2, K4, P2, Tw2L, P2, K2.

3rd Row: Same as 1st row.

4th Row: K2, P2, Tw2R, P2, C4B, P2, Tw2R, P2, K5, C10F, P2, Tw2L, P2, C4F, P2, Tw2L, P2, K2.

5th Row: Same as 1st row.

6th Row: Same as 2nd row.

7th Row: Same as 1st row.

8th Row: K2, P2, Tw2R, P2, C4B, P2, Tw2R, P2, K15, P2, Tw2L, P2, C4F, P2, Tw2L, P2, K2.

9th Row: Same as 1st row.

10th Row: Same as 2nd row.

11th Row: Same as 1st row.

12th Row: K2, P2, Tw2R, P2, C4B, P2, Tw2R, P2,, C10B, K5, P2, Tw2L, P2, C4F, P2, Tw2L, P2, K2.

Repeat row 1 - 12 until desired length.

Bind Off. Seriously though, I'm not sure how to ed this thing as I've not gotten there yet. Any suggestions?

Lots-o-Photos

2011-11-09T22:15:00.012-06:00

I've been a turkey about writing lately...

And I blame it all on this. (and words with friends)

So please let me give you a big cyber hug and let you know we're all doing okay down here.

We celebrated the birthday of an amazing little boy...

Oops, the grown ups had that, the kids had this.

Doesn't Grams look pretty? She's the one on the right. Lilly is on the left.

We've been playing trains...

And building box forts...

And gardening...

And going to the park with friends....

And lots of arts and crafts.

Alan and C have been watching, football, basketball, baseball - whatever the sport is lately. GO KANSAS!!!!

Cortland found a new favorite candy is the Fun Dip I bought for Aunt Ciara. He asks for Green.

Sorry Aunt Ciara, I think it's all gone.

Looking at books is always a good excuse to prolong the time before a nap.

Grandma Texas ad Gigi always have the best toys but a bucket and water is the best.

Just a little touch of what Pumpkin is up to. Get it UP to?

It look splendid as a dress or a skirt.

Quick peek at Anthony, my niece's sweet little boy.

And last weekend we went to the aquarium with Lucas, Jaqueline and David.

Yup, two good shots of me in a row. I'm playing the lottery tomorrow.

Sleepy boys at dinner after the aquarium.

Roses from our garden last weekend.

Halloween. The pressing question is; Is he a dinosaur or a dinosaur rider? Please comment and let me know. I have a psychological poll going on right now. It's very scientific and will let you know what I find.

Happy vs. Despair

2011-10-11T20:36:00.005-05:00

Some positive things happening this week with Cortland:

Cortland repeating the word baseball almost perfectly. Now read that sentence again. He's not spontaneously speaking, he's repeating what his daddy motor-planned for him. His brain is getting better - much better - at doing his own motor-planning, but it's going to be his brain going over and over and over the word baseball before he can make his mouth do the shapes it takes for the word to come out spontaneously.

C's OT said that he's been doing a five step obstacle course like a pro and that Monday he was having so much fun he didn't want to leave. Yay, I'm so glad he's having fun while learning how to find his balance and figure out where his body is in space. Maybe soon he won't have to fling himself to the ground to stop running. He'll know to just tell his legs to stop and they will actually mind him. And talking about running and flinging to a stop - the flings are more dramatic lately because he's running so much better.

He threw a COLOSSAL fit when he didn't want to leave the park, but he calmed himself down when I set him outside of the wagon (after 5 minutes of shrill, staccato screaming... him, not me) and we talked a minute and put on shoes. Now this was a big deal for both of us. He has always just gone with the flow.

Me: Time to go. (Plop him in the wagon and off we go lickity-split)
Cortland: Meh, okay, whatever.

I now know that I have to learn how to parent this new child who is becoming someone different than the one I've known for the last 3 years. I can totally do that - I'm not complaining - but did I have to learn this lovely leason in parenting in front of my husband who I'm still not sure has forgiven me yet? FYI Alan - I get it! I know I royally screwed up that parenting lesson. Please give me hugs and tell me it's okay because I totally need that validation. And uh, forgive me also for asking for it in a public forum. Probably not cool either...

Last night Cortland sent his battery powered train off into the kitchen while crawling behind it with his little toy driver hopping along yelling "Come back! Come back!" Cutest thing ever.

Now for why I've been so quiet this week regardless of all of this positive stuff. Cortland's pre-school has a Facebook page and they post videos of the kids throughout the day. Now every video I can see the marked differences between Cortland and the other kids. It's not a bad difference, but different none the less. A video posted last week shows all of the kids in music class. They are all marching in the infantry and flying in the calvary and shooting the artillery all in the lords army - except mine. He's spinning spinning spinning spinning. (and still spinning and spinning)

It's called stimming and it helps him turn inside himself when there's just too much going on around him. It's not dancing like I've told everyone who sees him spinning. It's just not and it breaks my heart. When I even just think of that video I cry big silent inside crying with outside tears.

It's the cry that my therapist is trying to get me to stop doing and start doing the boo-hoo cry. I'm not there yet. I'm afraid if I start the boo-hoo cry I may never stop. And if I do stop, will I really feel better or just empty and alone? Will the boo-hoo cry make me feel, in the end, like I have just given up? I'm not ready to find out so I just cry my very quiet tears.

I am positive. And I can see the improvement. But that doesn't mean my heart doesn't ache sometimes with sadness.

Almost Eaten by a Spider

2011-09-18T22:59:00.002-05:00

I'm sad to report that today my knights shining armor tarnished just a little bit. He said, "It was tiny and at least two feet away from you." And then rolled his eyes when I tried to explain that it charged me - twice! Yes, a spider was holding me hostage in my patio chair.

Let's hope Alan can earn back trust I once had in him. I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to be hard.

Playing Dinosaurs

2011-09-11T22:45:00.002-05:00

Alan's dino voice seriously makes the whole video is pretty cute, but my fave part is at 1:35 - right at the very end.

Functional Neurology

2011-09-07T14:40:00.006-05:00

First off let me tell you how excited I am that I just got $400 worth of the CUTEST shirts from Ann Taylor Loft for $125. And they're a size medium. Yay Me!

And now let me tell you all about Cortland's brain as I understand it. Dr. Rosenthal said we need to work to get the receptors recepting in four parts of his brain.

Basal Ganglia - Memorization and motor actions

Parietal Lobe - Orientation of where he is physically

TREATMENT - We have special glasses with yellow lenses and flashing red lights that activate this part of the brain. I'm not sure if its this brand, but Eyelights are similar except C's lenses are yellow. Cortland is to wear then three times a day for five minutes each time and gradually increase the time worn on a weekly basis.

Temporal Lobe - Speech, vision, sound, smell and personal relationships

TREATMENT - The talking to the left eye and negative reinforcement helps this part of the brain.

RESULTS: Dr. Rosethal said this part of the treatment possibly is why Cortland gave me my first ever unprompted kiss last night. It also could explain the huge language leap this week which includes saying colors and lots of three and four work phrases that happened in the last week. Not to mention the fact that C actively sought out my mom and others to play when we were visiting last weekend.

Cerebellum - Coordination, balance, cognition, fine tunes motor activity

Our other homework this week is to continue having Cortland push is big exercise ball around since he stands correctly while doing that. He love to chase me around the house with a ball almost as tall as he is. We're also to play catch with dodgeball size balls and larger from at least 7ish feet away from each other. That makes him see more than just one focal point.

I'll keep you posted on results.

1st Day of School

2011-09-06T23:30:00.002-05:00

Cortland just went skipping into his classroom for his first day of school. When I picked him up he gave his teacher a kiss goodbye. I think it's safe to say he had a great 1st day. As for me, I got most of the front flowerbeds weeded and cleaned house for 5 hours. Both things I've been needing to do, but weather and kid hampered.

The Weekend

2011-09-05T20:00:00.005-05:00

Didn't you feed him this weekend?

Well, that's the $20,000 question, isn't it? My kiddo hasn't eaten properly in weeks. Tonight after we got home Cortland gobbled down a whole hotdog and a HUGE ear of corn. He was also asking for a "wokch" but that's also the word for rock so we had no idea what he wanted. (If it was a rock then too bad. I love him and would move the world for him, but watch him gnaw on a rock? Not gonna happen.)

We had a great time visiting my mom and many other family members this weekend. We drove to Dighton, KS with my mom, Aunt Jeannie and grandma to visit my grandmother's cousin. Both of them will be 89 in the next couple months. Can you believe that? My Grams will be 89. Along the way she told me stories about growing up and why the towns were 8 miles apart. It's because that's how far the horses could go, round trip, in a days time to visit the grocery store.

We got to drive by the houses she lived in when she was a little girl and the house my mom grew up in when she was little. I also learned that my mom was a big ol' liar 40 years ago and told my grams that she had slipped on a rug the weekend she hurt her back by plummeting to the ground when her parachute wouldn't open. Grams told me she still remembers thinking it was the ugly orange rug my mom had bought and that she'd never liked that rug.

The 1st night Cortland and I got to KS I explained the homework Dr. Rosenthal gave us for this week. I had to give negative reinforcement and talk to C's left eyeball. Not all the time, just a few times a day. My mom was also supposed to ignore C until he started to seek her out. Another negative reinforcement. Something about waking up the right brain.

So there I am all weekend talking to my kids left eyeball and and there he is looking at me like I'm a crazy loon.

But he ate a hotdog. And brocoli. And chicken. And talking and playing with us and toys. And willingly playing with my mom. Crazy sounding or not left eyeball talking will continue.

No pictures from the trip yet because I forgot my camera in Ness City, KS at my Aunt Joyce's house. When she sends it back you'll get to see pictures of the cutest hedgehogs ever! I totally want one. They looked just like Pinny Needlkins from Diggy Takes His Pick.

A great book my mom saved for the last 35 years that I stole from her when Cortland was born so he could have it read to him too.

Now this whole hedgehog purchase has not been Alan-approved yet. He put his foot down about getting a frog. Something about "that's no life for a frog to be stuck in a little box." Blah blah blah. Him and his harm no bugs or frogs rules. So difficult. Guess that rules out the hand/eye coordination exercise I had planned for C that entailed the use of a magnifying glass and a few pesky ants.

Life and Death

2011-08-27T23:21:00.002-05:00

This has been a week of life and death. Kiwi's father passed away unexpectedly Sunday night and Kayla had her baby Tuesday morning.

I expected the death to bring about a rehashing of feelings from my dad's death, but what it actually brought was a strong urge to protect Kiwi from the sorrow I know she will have for such a long time to come. I wish I could put her and her brother and sisters in a cocoon to prevent them from having to learn the hard way that it doesn't get easier with time, it just gets different. It's a different kind of grief - the grief we have 14 years later. It becomes part of you, changes you.

For me grief makes me more selective who I give my love to. If you are one of my chosen, know I will go to the mat for you. I am there whenever, whatever you need. I will forgive and forget. Really, I forget stuff. I'm not someone who can forgive but continue to hold onto negative things. The few times I have forgiven and not forgotten? Well, look around, those people are no longer in my world.

As for Kayla, her and the baby are doing wonderful. Anthony was born at 11:09am, is 7lbs 3oz and 19in long. And he's beautiful. We're going to see him tomorrow and I'll post lots of pictures for everyone to ohhh and ahhh over.

Knitting Bunny

2011-08-22T21:03:00.003-05:00

In the book Goodnight Moon there is a beautiful bunny (In the book she's called "the little old lady", but I think that's typecasting) knitting in a rocking chair while the baby bunny says goodnight to all of his special things in his room. When Cortland saw the knitting bunny he started bouncing all around in the chair pointing at the bunny and then poking me yelling, "MA MA! MA MA!"

I love that.

Talking

2011-08-09T22:44:00.002-05:00

Heh, he's starting to say stuff!

What We've Been Up to This Summer

2011-08-09T20:00:00.010-05:00

We taught Cortland how to swim in a tube of water.

Or not. Actually it's the Ft Worth Childrens Museum.

Grandma and C on a dinosaur dig

Giant train set

In KS we went swimming at my cousin Sherry's house.

And put together puzzles... sort of...

And played with REAL tractors!

And had a slumber party with four nine year olds and a little boy. The little boy isn't in the picture because he is behind me (the photographer) with a water hose. Bet you can't guess what happened next.

Dane and Cortland ate sunflower seed shells from the ground around the bleachers at a ballgame. *Gack*

Just plain worn out.

We've adopted a lady named Ludy and she is wearing a scarf I knitted.

We painted the kid pink.

No one was more surprised than Cortland when he started getting in his horns.

It's been a great summer!

All Better

2011-08-09T19:48:00.009-05:00

Some crazy person let me have the camera when I was in the hospital. My mom said she came from KS so fast that she forgot to pack her makeup. She looked beautiful anyway.

Isn't Alan cute?

I got the cutest flower arrangement ever from Tanya.

And here's a pic of the real thing. She still thinks the chair my mom brought for C is hers.

I'm feeling so much better. I am feeling so much better, in fact, that it's good that Tasha and two of her kids came to stay last week to keep me off my feet. Her kids are amazing and Cortland had the best time with them. And I had a wonderful time having my friend all to myself.

The boys were inside when Maddie made this wonderful castle. Of course they were. It would have been dead before she even began otherwise.

Bad Patient

2011-07-30T21:52:00.004-05:00

Life is peachy. Here are some of the highlights (and low-lights).

My mom was here for a week helping out keeping all the laundry clean as well as the kitchen and kid. She also rubbed my back, brought an endless supply of peanut M&M's and was an all around great cuddler. (Thank you so much, mom. You have no idea what it meant to us to have you here.)

My son thought every time she walked into the room meant that his mommy was being shipped off to Cambodia for a few more days without him, so he wanted nothing to do with her. She took it better than I did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I look around and see all of the stuff I want to be doing. Knitting. Sewing. Going through the junk drawer. Scrapbooking. Reading.

My head has hurt so bad for the last four days that all I really manage to do is take random assortments of drugs every 6 hours and try to pretend that it's normal to cock my head to the side like a camel with a sand flee stuck in its ear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was cleared Friday to take baths and anyone who knows anything about me knows I loooooove my baths. Showers are for heathens and very muddy people.

I just got out of a shower instead of a bath because the thought of moving my shampoo and conditioner the 10 feet to the tub was just too much to bear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I lost 15 lbs in 4 days.

It was all water weight from the surgery and it involved endless middle of the night trips to the bathroom. And I still have the real 5lbs to lose that I just.freaking.lost. You know, the 5 hardest pounds in the history of mankind to lose? That I worked really, really hard to make go away just a few short months ago? F*****S

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm getting in touch with my emotions.

Alan hasn't filed divorce papers, yet, (right Alan?) on the grounds of his wife has gone flipping nuts. Crying is the new black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please no chin-up little buckeroo comments. I need to hear a few, "I feel you girl." and "are you having to deal with this shit too?" comments. I need a little solidarity right now. I will cowboy up all by myself, I'm sure. After all, I am little Miss Pollyanna 90% of the time.

So how about it? Come on Kim, tell me about the cooler of water left by the side of the bed after Elise was born. Linda, let me hear a little something about your torture after your recent surgery. Anyone have any gory wound stories? Mom? Care to share about the time your guts came out of your belly button? Anything for your darling, right?

The Case of the Reappearing Fallopian Tube

2011-07-25T13:51:00.010-05:00

Today I'm home from the hospital. Some might know that I was pregnant, but few know that Saturday Alan took me to the emergency room with abdominal pain. Yup, another ectopic.

Wish I could remember the name of the dr who did my 1st ectopic surgery and what he actually removed when he said he took out my right fallopian tube because, funnily enough, that's the exact same tube that was removed Saturday along with my right ovary. WTH? Dr. Wells also tied my left tube while he was hanging out in my insides Saturday so we won't have to mess with this again. He called it retied since it looks like that was what the dr from my 2nd ectopic basically did which he called repairing my tube.

Alan and I weren't trying or preventing getting pregnant. We knew there was a big chance that getting pregnant again might mean another ectopic. But we didn't think it through very carefully. We didn't think all the way through what an ectopic might mean. Death to the mother. Shit. We just thought as far as another baby.

I thought getting my remaining tube tied would be sad and feel like giving up a dream but it isn't. It's such a relief, knowing I'll be here for my son and husband who are my world and not dead because I waited too long to get to the hospital and bled to death.

My mom is here taking good care of me and Alan has been within touching distance at all times. I am so lucky t have such wonderful friends and family.

Talking Back

2011-07-07T10:07:00.002-05:00

Cortland has been doing great with his therapy. While in KS for 2 weeks he mastered M, P, O and B. This week our homework was to use Bee and Bow and Bye and Boo if Bee and Bow went good. It's not going so as good as expected. I say, "Say Bee." and he says, NO, NO!" and runs away.

I've tried everything I can think of. Say Bee before opening the back door. Whatever. He then just doesn't want to go outside anymore. I drew a bee on the milk carton and tried to get him to say Bee before he could have milk. He thinks I'm crazy because Duh, that's obviously milk and not a bee.

I've tried playing find the bee in the book. I've put bees in the trains. I've tried singing silly songs. I've buzzed around the house with him looking at me like I've gone loony on him.

I know he can say it because he has said it with his grandma. But he's not applying it to an actual bee.

Forgot to mention he has a motor-speech delay. He understands everything we say, he just can't get his brain to make his mouth talk back.

Bad Account. No No Account.

2011-05-16T19:54:00.001-05:00

No idea why my blog pops up with a "Bad Account" message. Unless it's referring to grammatical errors. Then I totally get it.

Florida

2011-05-10T11:31:00.004-05:00

I think this was Wine Night. Cathy and David; Here's to you!!!!!

ps - remind me to kick Alan in the knee for recording me in a swimsuit.

Videos for the Grandmas

2011-04-17T23:01:00.004-05:00

More Pictures

2011-04-17T22:50:00.005-05:00

Laying down watching TV and looking just like his daddy.

Playing with finger paints. Not my favorite activity, but C seems to enjoy it!

A pic of the new playset.

Grace Ann taking a nap while Alan watches basketball.

Prison Work Study in the Philippines

2011-04-03T22:22:00.002-05:00

Letter to Aunt Joyce

2011-03-31T12:25:00.007-05:00

Letter to my Aunt in response to her email:

Dear Aunt Joyce,

(Personal personal personal... (go check your email for this stuff))

I've been concerned about Cortland for a while. The pediatrician said to just wait and see - up until our last visit in January when he found out that C still hadn't said mommy (he said mom once and I haven't heard it since and boy, have I been listening for it!) and didn't point to things he wants or needs. Like milk, juice, food... You know how a mother just "knows" when there's something not right? Yeah, that's how I felt.

So we called ECI, a county program that evaluates young children and recommends a course of action. He started speech therapy with Jen in February, and it has made a discernible difference. No consistant talking yet, but we get pointing now, and he's doing lots more back and forth playing with us. He's communicating and that's huge. He's even had a few temper tantrums. heh. Who in their right mind would be thrilled about that?! Me, that's who.

Jen brought in an occupational therapist because she noticed that he has low muscle tone. Jen said that the low muscle tone exacerbates the no speech thing. He can't turn door knobs; he sits in a W; he lays on the floor to push cars back and forth for very long periods of time; his tongue still peeps out of his mouth when he's in a relaxed state (which is often); he will stay reclined on the couch for hours if we would let him.

******ETA - Wow, rereading this makes my child sound like a potato! He's totally not! He smiles and runs around and pushes his shopping cart and all kinds of kid stuff. He loves to color and draw on his easel and paint and play with play-do and dig in the dirt and run on the playground.... The things listed in the paragraph above and the rest of the post below are just the trouble-spots! Not the whole-spot. Holy-cow. He's not a little lump by any means!

Jen also brought in a social therapist for lack of eye contact, not responding to his name (which he is responding to much more now), and not interacting with people around him. He will play with stuff but, if you really observe, when playing with him he doesn't often follow you around to see what you're doing.

As much as I would like to think that's just his personality, it's not typical for a toddler and following and imitating us is how toddlers learn. If he's not imitating and showing any interest in what we're doing, (ie. getting under our feet when we're trying to sew, cook, knit, scrub floors) then he isn't learning all he needs to. He likes to be in his own little world.

That's not to say he doesn't act like a kid. He does engage sometimes. He is so pleasant, in fact, that I wondered if a social therapist was even necessary. I LOVE how easy a kiddo he is, Only problem is that he isn't supposed to be this easy!

I know, crazy to want to mess with a good thing. But he is easy because he's not engaging with the real world and just because we like the whole can-leave-him-in-a-room-and-know-he-won't-mess-with-anything thing doesn't mean that's what's best for him.

He needs to have the natural curiosity of a toddler. He NEEDS to get into stuff and challenge authority and all of the other stuff kids do or he won't learn what he's supposed to be learning right now.

He is the absolute sweetest little boy. And someday soon I hope he will give me a hug and call me mommy. That he will reach up for me when I come to his room in the morning to get him out of bed. That when I pick him up he will wrap his legs and arms around me and hold on tight. But those things can't happen without also opening the door to all of the other typical characteristics of two year olds.

I'm good with that. I look forward to the day that I can't sit next to him and knit for 1 1/2 hours with him never tryig to steal my needles and mess with my yarn or even trying to get my attention. I am willing to trade that hour and a half if it means that Cortland will be engaged in life around him.

Love you Aunt Joyce and thank you for your caring.

Skye

Summertime!

2011-03-25T15:35:00.002-05:00

Cortland and Lucas playing in the water.

Cortland's World

2011-03-25T00:30:00.005-05:00

This little boy right here:

Has a trifecta of therapists.

This is hard for me, not so much for C. Of course that's what the What Therapist is for. She's the one I don't think C and I are going to like much. Her job is to teach me how to pull Cortland out of his world and into ours. (And she said if he won't come out, then we are just going to invite ourselves into his for awhile.)

Everyone has an opinion on this and I think that's why I haven't posted about it before now. I don't want to have my thoughts validated or debated. I just need to stew for a bit.

I know Alan and his mom opine that the therapists are just covering all their bases (asses) and maybe going a little overboard. I hear what Marla is saying when she points out that it's the therapist job to look for even the slightest out of normal range issues and address them - even the smallest little things. And I respect that Alan doesn't think, as he says. "C is that much different than other 2 year olds."

But it's scary when I'm the only one who hears the therapist relate in what way my baby is a titch off center. Hell, I already know because I get to see every. single. day. how he is different from other kids his age.

He is so happy and funny and wonderful in so many ways. Just if only he would let me in to see his secret.

As my mom said, it feels a little like I've unleashed the Furies.

Tsunami Video

2011-03-13T19:52:00.000-05:00

The tsunami in Japan from the ground.

Things I Learned Today

2011-02-27T23:16:00.006-06:00

Things I learned today on a seven hour car trip:

1. There are beavers in KS. Well, there was a beaver. It's now dead. On the side of the road. I assume it died of dehydration.

2. Kenny Rogers voice will make Cortland quit crying. And the song Elvira will get him going again.

3. The lines in Lucille by Kenny Rogers are not (words I always thought are in italics);

"You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille,

With four hungry children and a Daf and a Dil.

I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times,

But this time you hurt me for real.

You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille."

4. I won't call 911 when I see a couple push a light blue hatchback off into a ravine on the side of the highway. (I was surprised by that. Who knew? I always thought of myself as a concerned citizen.)

5. A Chicken McNugget can maim when it hits the back of your head from 3 1/2 feet.

6. And finally, kids are now smoking Salvia to get high. And there's a bunch of people who want to outlaw growing it. Strange. My mother will be a wanted fugitive.

Carroll Update

2011-02-16T19:17:00.005-06:00

Lots of people have been asking about a Carroll update.

She found out Friday that the tumor came back sometime in the last 2 months. She's starting IV chemo and Avastin. We are hopeful that this treatment will shrink the tumor and that the treatment won't suck in the suckiest suckness of suck. Ever hear someone say that the treatment is worse than the actual illness? Yeah, that's not the case here. I think she would stick hot pokers under her eyelids if it would cure her cancer. Hell, I would do it right along with her if it would mean that this fucking tumor would disappear.

Other than that, Carroll's doing great. She started back to work the beginning of January and didn't have any trouble picking up where she left off last July. We celebrated her daughters 1st birthday at the end of December, which was such a treat. Lily is so sweet and girly. Her birthday is actually the beginning of Jan, but Carroll wanted to make sure Ciara's husband could be there. Ever thoughtful, our Kiwi.

All in all she's hanging in there. Of course this news was a blow and not what she/we wanted to hear. But as Kiwi would say, "It is what it is." Seriously, she has the best attitude.

Pictures

2011-02-10T20:31:00.011-06:00

Cortland got into the Aquaphor lotion.

What? Why are you staring at me?

AHHH! Fix it!

Meh. Guess it's not so bad...

Cortland liked the snow when it was less fluffy, less thick, just less. Regardless, it was like pulling teeth to get him back inside.

Cortland playing on the bed.

Smock Coat by Debby Bliss I knitted for Lily.

Cortland and his best friend Lucas. Lucas is 2 months younger than C.

Drafty Windows

2011-02-09T13:40:00.003-06:00

Our home is now hermetically sealed. With plastic. Now don't go thinking we've gone all white trash. Tanya showed me the error of my thinking years ago when she showed me her electric bill compared to ours all because she put plastic on her windows in the winter.

Tanya taught me that it's not my fault that old windows get drafty and to not be too proud to do something about an issue that is making money fly, figuratively, out the window. Drafty windows happens to everyone, just like what all women feel (bubbles) when they go potty. It happens to everyone but nobody talks about it.

I really have no idea why I feel the way I do/did with putting plastic over the windows. I guess it's from seeing other peoples houses from the outside with shiny tin foil covering their windows. (And really, what does tin foil do??? If it's just to block light, then black-out curtains can be purchases at Wal-Mart for less than 16 boxes of tin foil. Weirdos.)

So mostly what I'm trying to say is if it's drafty, feel free to fix it. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. You can't even see that the windows are covered. And it's so nice to sit and not feel a cold breeze on your neck while knitting.

Some things I would like to point out:

1. Don't wait until it's 19˚ (again) before putting up the plastic. The hot air from the hair dryer has to work so much harder to shrink wrap the plastic. It takes f.o.r.e.v.e.r.

2. It's super fun to chase out the wrinkles with the dryer.

3. Sweep the floor before unwrapping the plastic or you'll end up with furries on the inside of the windows. Ewww, gross.

4. Something else, but I can't remember.

5. Buy the size for sliding/patio doors and cut to size. It's cheaper that way.

6. Start sticking at the top, do the sides and then the bottom. Trim after you shrink wrap. Thanks Tanya for that little tip. So much easier than the way I would have done it.

7. Try to make the plastic as neat as possible, but not tight, just wrinkle-ish free-ish. The hair dryer will tighten everything up.

Homeless

2011-01-27T09:23:00.004-06:00

It's interesting how our views change as we get older. When I was 19 I thought I knew myself and never imagined that my "self" would ever be different than the one then and there.

But it did change. And now at 37 I feel like I don't know anything. Things are never quite as they seem. Situations have many angles and no viewpoint is cut and dry. There are too many variables. I won't ever know all there is to know about a topic to make an absolute, set in concrete, never change my mind stand on a topic. I can be firm on a decision, but I also know I need to listen to other sides. (my 19 year old self says this is a wishy-washy way to view life) (I wonder what my 72 year old self will say on the subject?)

On the radio today an announcer was dumbfounded that many homeless people have cell phones. He quoted Don Sisler, executive director the Union Gospel Mission from an article from the Star Tribune who said "... But those [homeless] who do use them to manage their lives, just like you and me."

The radio announcer, Mark Davis on 820AM in Dallas, couldn't fathom what in a homeless person's life would need to be managed. All I could think was; Is he serious??? Is he that narrow minded? What in the world was he thinking going on the radio and saying something that makes him sound so incredibly STUPID???

I wonder what my 19 year old self would have thought about homeless people having cell phones? Even at 19 I would hope that I could see more than one tiny little facet of the issue, unlike that Mark Davis guy. (I would love to call in and tell him what a moron he is, but it wouldn't do any good.)

My niece, for all intents and purposes, is homeless. I don't think she's ever slept under a bridge. (That would be my 19 year old self's definition of homeless) My 37 year old self's definition is if you don't have an address to forward mail when you move because you don't know where you'll be from one day to the next, then you are homeless.

She moves from one friends couch to the next. She won't or can't hold a job for more than a few weeks; doesn't have a drivers license; isn't in school; and she doesn't want any of those things in her life right now. And that's okay. (It's taken a lot of letting go for me to say that last sentence. I'm sort-of a fixer person and I've had to learn that my lifestyle is not the only lifestyle.) Her hair and clothes are clean and she eats regular meals. She comes for family holidays. She is happy with her life.

My niece has a cell phone and we have established that she is homeless. Her Grandma pays the bill on that phone. (I think she still does) It puts the whole family at ease to know that we can get in touch with my niece if we need to. And, more important, she can get in touch with us if she needs to.

I wonder how old this Mark Davis guy is? I hope he's only 19 and there is a chance he will learn to see more than one narrow little view of the world because it would be a shame for him to die and have his tombstone read:

"Mark Davis, he couldn't find his ass with both hands. Bless his heart."

Putting Together the Toys

2010-12-24T22:36:00.003-06:00

I'm so excited for tomorrow morning that I can hardly stand it!!!!!

So I was sent to my mom's suitcase to find her camera battery charger and what do I find instead? $47.82 (mostly dimes and pennies) in change in a sandwich bag. Weirddddddddd. Usually I try not to mention when my mom is visiting in case some robber just happens to be traipsing through Kingman, KS, comes across my blog and thinks, "Hmmm, what an marvelous opportunity to steal some Celine Dion DVD's and a few million bottles of bath soaps."

Well now that I know my mom emptied her piggy bank before heading south, I don't feel nervous at all to say what a great time we've been having! But I do understand better my dad's constant complaints when he had to lift her suitcase.

Who in the HELL is THIS!!!!!

2010-11-04T21:41:00.002-05:00

When did my baby start to look like a little boy???

Tell Me a Secret

2010-11-01T10:50:00.015-05:00

Every night for years I used to ask Alan to tell me a secret.

Me: Honey? Are you asleep? Tell me a secret.

Alan: I'm an open book. No secrets.

Me: Just something. Anything. Honey? Honey? Are you awake? Honey?

Alan: I have a freckle behind my left knee.

Me: Whatever. Good night.

Now I want to know why, after all of those chances, Alan never mentioned the one thing that would be a deal breaker. DEAL BREAKER.

Alan likes scary Zombie shows. What is that? How did this get past me? I mean ACK!

And worse, he KNOWS I have a penchant for self-denial and lack of self-awareness. So when he asked me if I wanted to watch Walking Dead, the new show on AMC, he took me at my word that 'Of Course I would!' Sad shows with lots of hopelessness and despair? Right up my alley! And Zombies to boot? Yay! Bring it on!

Does he not KNOW me? Does he not remember the haunted house fiasco of 2003?????

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2010-10-31T09:27:00.011-05:00

Cortland didn't want to stay in the picture at the Halloween party yesterday. I ran to the food table and grabbed a handful of candy corn and dropped the candy in the grass where I wanted C to sit. Within less than a minute the group disolved into chaos all around my little Longhorn. And still, there he sat...

and sat...

and sat.

TrueMud

2010-10-28T11:40:00.004-05:00

HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Watching Sesame Street with Cortland this morning, my head popped up (from its bored, drooling, almost coma-like state) when I heard the theme song for Trueblood.

Not quite sure how appropriate for kids, but so much less boring than Elmo (bless his heart).

Logic is Subjective

2010-10-14T23:48:00.004-05:00

I sat down to knit a scarf with the new yarn that came in the mail today. One, two, where was the third skien? I looked in all the logical places; under my chair, the recycle bin where I put the box the yarn came in, the porch where I opened the box.

And then I started looking in the logical places Cortland would have put the yarn.

I found it in the sink.

Last Week

2010-09-07T09:00:00.002-05:00

Cortland and I are home from KS. We brought Alan rain and Cortland a 104º temp. He's fine. Kids are resilient.

I haven't written about the reason we were in KS, yet. It's just been too hard of a subject to bring up. And I've also not wanted to make it seem like I thought it was about me. You know, when people whoa-is-me when something bad didn't even happen to them, but they want the sympathy?

A girlfriend and her husband lost a baby to SIDS two weeks ago and I went to the funeral. I am glad the family let unfamily attend.

I had never met the little boy, but I know his mom quite well, and she and her husband had waited for this baby for 9 years. The parents have a strong faith in God and right now seem to be handling things okay. Numbness helps.

While in KS, Cortland and I got to catch up with some of my old friends. We stayed the night with Dustin and Kristin Menzies and spent lots of time at Tasha Sears house with her and her kids. C had so much fun. Me too.

We stayed with my mom the rest of the week and popped over to Protection, KS to visit Andi Blair Dale Saturday. I haven't seen her is 100 years.

The End

Corie! Stop Stripping!

2010-08-28T00:08:00.001-05:00

Corie, quit stripping your baseboards. Do this instead.

More Home Improvement

2010-08-25T01:45:00.003-05:00

The internets say that the average lifespan of wallpaper paste is ten years.

My question is who is the contractor that sold his freaking soul to the devil to get the wallpaper paste on my bathroom wall??? This crap is like rhino snot! Seriously, I can tell that it's been on the wall for at least 20 years and it's still stuck on there like a nun's panties.

New Meds

2010-08-20T09:48:00.009-05:00

Before you get an antibiotic for a UTI, urine has to be tested.

Before you get antibiotics for an infection, your blood is tested to see what meds will work on that specific infection.

But what kind of test is done for anti-depressants? What would happen if Alan, who doesn't need anti-depressants, takes Prozac?

I went to the doctor yesterday for a backache and while there I expressed concern that Celexa wasn't working for me the way it used to. I was perscribed Pristiq and was told that it has the seritonine reuptake inhibators like Celexa, as well as norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors. But what does that mean in layman's terms?

I just want to feel better. I want to not take 2 hour naps everyday. And I want to WANT to do dishes and fold laundry and take care of the house and my family like I used to. I want to WANT to leave the house and meet new people and do new things.

It seems that more people than ever take some kind of anti-depressant, but how do the doctors decide that someone needs to be on something like that and how do they know which drug to prescribe and how much to prescribe?

I also had a million vials of blood drawn to find out why my hair is falling out. I'll let you know what's going on with that when I find out.

Right side:

Left Side: My hair is growing back in whispy little bits; not like it was before.

On a positive note, because of these pictures I've decided not to dye my hair anymore. It's kind of a pretty color, isn't it? heh.

Lilly's baby sweater

2010-08-18T10:36:00.003-05:00

Made this one for Carroll's little girl. Of course in TX she may grow out of it before she can wear it!

Chunky Cable Sweater

2010-08-18T10:31:00.004-05:00

This is the baby sweater I finished for my Aunt Jeannie. Fun little pattern from the book Adorable Knits for Tots by Zoe Mellor.

And Then You Had a Duh Moment....

2010-08-18T09:56:00.004-05:00

Of all the germy things in and around us, soap dispensers are the least of my worries. I mean, what's ALWAYS the next thing you do after touching the germy soap dispenser? You lick your fingers! Wrong, you wash your hands. Duh. Duh. Duh.

What a money-making gimmick.

Missing the James Family Already

2010-08-02T10:14:00.006-05:00

We just had our 1st Memphis visitors!

Cortland's honorary cousins just left and it feels too quite already. We had so much fun playing and hanging out. And I swear Shauna's husband, Cullen, and Alan are twins separated at birth. It was such a great visit.

Left to Right: Tori, Cortland, Sarah and Gabriel

Shauna may kill me for posting her 3AM picture. One minute it was 10PM and the next thing I know it's three in the morning.

Wrapped Around His Finger

2010-07-27T22:48:00.002-05:00

When he cries he looks just like the very 1st day; the very 1st minute he was born. God, he's got it all over me it's not even funny. Twist Mommy, twist!

Some Kids Eat the Stangest Things

2010-07-27T22:46:00.002-05:00

Cortland loves Thai and Japanese food.

Alan cracks me up!

We have to work harder at not laughing when disciplining or he's going to know who's really the boss in this family.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

2010-07-27T22:41:00.002-05:00

Thank you Kooistras for Blue Buster. C still loves it.

Aunt Jeannie, can you hear the bug singing? He pulls it around all day long. He loves his bug!

Lilly and Kiwi came over to play today. We had lots and lots of fun.

What We've Been Up To This Summer

2010-07-27T21:02:00.015-05:00

First of all, Cortland wanted me to tell you he loves you all THIIIISSSSSS much!

This is the coolest park ever. See all of that wood? It goes up and down and to slides and rings and tunnels and tire swings... A kid could get lost in there if he wasn't wearing a neon yellow shirt. Phew, thank goodness we just happen to have one.

We went to Nash Farms in Grapevine, TX to milk cows and pet chickens, but I couldn't get C away from the tractors and farm implements. Gee, who here is surprised?

Here he is doing his serious KS farmer face. He totally has it down. And those who know, doesn't his expression look like my dads?

Sometimes I take Cortland to the local kid cage along with the other moms who just. need. a. break.

Only kidding. It's called The Tubes. It's like a really big Chik-Fil-A playground, or a really small Going Bonkers, which is another place we've been, but I was afraid to take pictures. There were so many kids at Going Bonkers I was afraid the patients were about to take over the asylum.

Daddy and Cortland finding animals in the clouds.

Concentrating REALLY hard.

And laughing a whole bunch!

Cancer

2010-07-24T19:34:00.007-05:00

I want to vent and throw things and yell profanities, but Carroll's husband, and hopefully someday Carroll, will read this post and I want to keep things as positive as possible. It's a raging war in my head between emotions and conventionality.

Carroll (Kiwi) has brain cancer. It's a level/grade IV astrocytoma. Hers was a primary tumor, meaning it started in her brain, not metastasized from somewhere else in her body. It was removed last Wed and the doctor said he got it all. They estimate it grew to the size of a ping-pong ball in less than 6 months.

Brain cancer rarely spreads to other parts of the body. I guess it figures it's found the Holy Grail with the brain, and it's doesn't have to look any further. She has already started chemo and will continue for 6 months. She starts 6 weeks of radiation the beginning of August.

She has been a trooper through all of this. As she says, "It is what it is." . She says she's scared which to me means she's got her wits about her. I would have been more worried if she wasn't. She is enjoying her daughter and husband and is just taking it easy.

Painting

2010-07-24T19:22:00.004-05:00

Would it have killed the builder to spend an extra $5k to make smooth walls as opposed to these stupid knock-down textured walls? I mean seriously, it would be an extra $5 per mortgage payment for whoever initially bought the house. But for me to fix these stupid bumpy-ish walls? Out of pocket, baby. Poopheads.

And bumpy ceilings, too? What else are they going to throw at me? Suckerfish.

In my best Barbie voice; Painting texture is harrrrrd!

New additions!

2010-06-11T19:30:00.004-05:00

Our baby birds finally sprouted!!!!!!!!

Click on the picture to make it bigger so you can see their little heads!

MIL (Mother-in-Law) Litmus Test

2010-06-10T11:08:00.003-05:00

While cleaning the bathroom this morning I got to thinking about what my Clean Litmus Test is. It surprised me to realize it's my mother-in-law. I have never consciously thought it outloud, but inside my head, whenever I look around the house I think, "Would I be embarrassed if Marla just dropped by with the house in this condition?"

I love my mother-in-law and if I chose my husband based solely on who I would get for an MIL; I would choose Alan all over again. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want her to ever walk in and think that I am raising her grandchild in abject filth.

MIL Litmus Test:
NO - Messy Bathroom
NO - Dusty Floor
YES - Scrapbook Project on Dining Room Table
YES - Dishes in Sink
NO!!!!! - Dishes on Counter, Stove, Table
NO - Dirty Clothes on Floor
MAYBE - Unmade Bed
SOMETIMES - Dust

It's good to have a motivator. Thank you Marla!

Just wondering...

2010-06-08T23:20:00.002-05:00

I was just wondering, is there a switch or something on gas stoves to turn off the pilot light when cleaning the knobs so that someone won't, hypothetically, light a burner while holding a paper towel and about burn down her nice, new house?

New videos. Lots of new videos

2010-06-08T23:14:00.005-05:00

Cortland decided to wear the USB cable for my camera to get the mail awhile ago and it disappeared for weeks. Alan found it tonight and I posted about a million videos to you tube. Search for cortland burke (or click here) and there will be many videos to feast your eyes on.

Music

2010-06-03T22:55:00.006-05:00

I turned on my Itunes and put in my earbuds to drown out Alan's basketball game and BAM, I'm back in 10th grade, in the commons at South High, during play practice listening to Under Pressure by Bowie and Queen. The layers in that song, the horns and strings, the guitars, the percussion, all of it. So rich and moving.

I forget how music can make me feel like I'm on a roller coaster; it can totally take my breath away.

I get the same feeling from ABBA and the soundtrack to Grease 2. (Oh yeah, you heard me, Grease 2. And you all totally know you want a coooooool rider, c-o-o-l r-i-d-e-r....)

And then Under Pressure takes me to Vanilla Ice. Ah, that one song. Ding Ding Ding Da Da Ding Ding. Da Ding Ding Ding Da Da Ding Ding. It makes me giggle just thinking about the lawsuit that followed and Robert van Winkle's ridiculous argument that the extra ding made it an original riff and not copyright infringement. What a goofball. And sadly, it just makes me like the song more. That and the memories of riding around with Jeni Edwards after Friday night football games.

Zao, Swing Swing by All American Rejects and Jimmy Eat World take me to 2003 when I was newly single after 14 years. When I felt nervous and excited and utterly grown up and self-reliant for the 1st time in my life. I bought a red couch that year and cried in the store because it was the 1st piece of furniture I picked out without having to put aside my own style in order to keep the peace. (other than my daybed in high school. Thanks mom!)

Alan gets all of the pining-for-you love songs due to his year in Memphis without me. All of them from the last 36 years; not just the ones from 2004. *Sigh* Poor guy. Drives him nuts. He also gets I've Been Working on the Railroad. heh.

So off I go to bed with a lighter heart and excited to start tomorrow by going out and meeting new people. I'm looking forward to making a 2010 Life Soundtrack to reminisce about in 10 years. I may even pay the $20 to join that mom's group here in town - even though it skeeves me out a little to have to pay for friends. Makes me seem desperate.....

Under Pressure....

Dead or Alive

2010-06-01T11:24:00.002-05:00

MISSING: INVISIBLE BOX

Contains pizza cutter, tin foil and Saran wrap

Reward Offered!!!!

The Good List

2010-05-22T10:14:00.007-05:00

The marble bathtub. I told Alan when we redo the master bath we are going to have to design around the bathtub with the perfect slope for cars (and barbies) to wing down the back like a water slide.

I LOVE the ice dispenser. Not because I actually eat ice (ick, of the devil, ice cream headache without the yumminess), but because Cortland thinks I'm a magic princess when I push the button and frozen bits come raining down on his head. He is entertained for 15 minutes trying to pick up slippery bits (and shhhh, put them in his mouth - don't tell CPS) and I get a clean floor by mopping up the melty spots. Win! Win!

Grace's Do-You-Want-to-Go-to-Your-Room? room is far, far away from Cortland's bedroom and behind two doors for maximum not going to wake the baby with her barking and have to be shaken Memphis-styleness. *gassssspppppp, big breath*
So much less stress knowing I don't feel like beating the dog because she is yelling at an evil cotton ball. We have a no-bark machine coming the 26th. Maybe then we can watch TV again. It's the kind that makes the high-pitched sound not a shock collar.

The kitchen faucet took a little getting used to , but now I love it. The head is also the sprayer and water shoots out hard enough to peel paint. I fell in total love with it when it cleaned out a 1/2 full can of tomato paste in 2.1 seconds.

I have lots and lots of cabinets So many cabinets I routinely loose things in the kitchen. It's great! (As routinely as someone who's only been here a week.)

Cortland can go play in his room all by himself. No stairs = wander in and play with trains whenever he wants.

And the bad stuff? No Tanya next door. I miss her.

Moving In - Day 5

2010-05-20T10:45:00.002-05:00

I've spent the last three days moving large items (eg. huge packages of paper towels and toilet paper because Alan had to get a Costco membership to support his rampant nut cluster habit. Thanks David) from one unacceptable in the way place to another in the way place, neither of which is it's new home. Rat in a maze. Rat in a maze. I feel just like a rat in a maze.

Today I have big plans. I'm going to eat powdered donuts and contemplate my navel.

Less is More

2010-04-29T08:46:00.004-05:00

VIEW FROM OUR CONDO BALCONY

It's a little late now, but I think I made a horrible error in judgment concerning my life. I wish I would have, before I got used to the finer things in life - cars, furniture, running water - have aspired to a simpler lifestyle. Beach Raker.

Just imagine, getting up and raking the sand clean of the high tide seaweed and then laying on the beach until the next raking in the morning. Easy-Peasy. Only as many possessions as will fit in a Chevy Chevette and eating ramen every meal, but the trade-off is a life of relaxation.

I might have even learned how to surf along the way. Maybe have saved for a metal detector. Made puka shell necklaces to sell to a local shop. Knitted fishing nets.

The possibilities would have been endless if only I had aspired to less.

Balding

2010-04-22T20:52:00.003-05:00

So this afternoon Tanya and I are sitting there picking out yarn for a new knitting project when she gasps and starts poking in my hair. She is looking behind my ear and says, "Did you know you have a chunk of hair missing?"

WHAT?

She looks on the other side to see if I just have some freaky hairline, but no, there is definitely a chunk of hair missing from the left side of my head.

I take down my ponytail and ask her to weed through the rest and see if there are any more holes. Nope, no more bare spots. Just that one.

After Alan got home I showed it to him. I completely expecting him to make me feel better by doing the typical guy thing and saying it's not that bad, or, dare I hope, an "I don't see what you're talking about."

WRONG!

He looks and hmm's and while walking away says it's probably just stress. Typical guy thing is what I was looking for!

So now I have to wear my hair down.

Outside of house

2010-04-17T11:54:00.000-05:00

For everyone looking for the outside of the new house...

Listing

The story of poop - Christensen style

2010-04-07T17:38:00.004-05:00

Alan and I do not talk about poop. Ever. The 1st and last time we discussed it was when we were going on our 1st vacation and I announced that when I asked him to leave the room he would have to leave, no questions asked. When he agreed and said ditto, I knew he was the one for me.

Wait, we did discuss it one other time. I told him that sometimes a woman will poop on the table while giving birth. No matter what I was not one of those women. If it happens then it didn't really happen and that was that. Again, he agreed - no questions asked.

We are showing the house in 30 minutes and as soon as Alan walked out of the bathroom I said, "You did not do what I think you just did, did you? You're shit better smell like roses or I'm going to be super pissed."

Selling a house - The thing that brings families closer.

For Grandmas

2010-03-25T22:41:00.001-05:00

Open House on Sunday

2010-03-23T16:53:00.005-05:00

The realtor just called ad we're having an open house on Sunday. I'm a little stressed about this because this is what our pool looks like as of 5 minutes ago. Uhhhhh, holy shitaki mushrooms.

See all that white rock piled up? That's the pool coping. It was all broken and we're replacing it with stone. What a mess.

On the plus side the guy jack-hammering has a rockin' body and I can see him through the window.

ETA: Cripes, the bushes behind the guys are HUGE! We need to add trimming those to the list. Alan? Are you listening? Yet another stupid chore. Yuck.

House

2010-03-11T10:45:00.003-06:00

The realtor came today and the house is officially on the market. The signs go up tonight and pictures will be on realtor.com within 48 hours.

REALTOR.COM LISTING

Videos

2010-03-04T20:25:00.000-06:00

Knitted Sweater

2010-02-17T11:09:00.003-06:00

I made this sweater for Cortland. All that's left is to put on the buttons and fix the 3 ft long arms... oops!

1st Haircut

2010-02-17T11:07:00.005-06:00

Hoarders

2010-02-17T10:48:00.003-06:00

I feel lately that I'm being buried in stuff. We're trying to get closets cleaned out and a huge to-do list completed so we can sell our house and - ARGHHHHH! - I just want to go back to bed.

Now granted, I've been watching Hoarders on TV and that's totally not helping. I know for some it would get them motivated to clean clean clean. For me, the slippery slope of messy to complete disaster house is almost an enviable possibility. But, in the time it took for me to write that I knew it would not be a possibility. I would go c.r.a.z.y in a pigsty. But just think about it - stuff everywhere and no urge to clean it up? Heaven!

More Grandma Candy

2010-02-03T22:06:00.000-06:00

Update From Alan

2010-01-26T08:02:00.003-06:00

The city we're in isn't a "tourist" city, so there's not a whole lot of people that speak english. By not a whole lot I mean the entire city. I really thought that the entire world was learning english and at least the young ppl all spoke if fluently everywhere. Italy thinks Alan should stuff is english. I guess italian's been working well for a few thousand years, why change now? Jeremy and I just got back from a nice restaurant and only 1 waiter spoke a very small smidge of english. It was a mess, but we did manage to order food (thank god for pointing... that's pretty universal). I'm stuffed. I don't know if people really order both a primi piatti and secondi piatti. I thought they did. My stomach thinks otherwise.

Our hotel is miniature. My room (bed + bath) is about the size of our bedroom. The elevator fits 2 people. Ever see a 2 person elevator? Me neither. They exist though. It's cut though. Jason (guy from NYC that we're here with) says that italians don't do a lot of business travel so they don't need a big "home away from home" when it comes to their hotels; hence why they're hotels tend to be so small.

Daily Updates From Alan

2010-01-26T08:00:00.003-06:00

Alan is in Italy this week for work. Without his permission I'm posting his daily updates. He's a funny man, my sweet husband!

An italian's day:

wake up, have some coffee
go to work and work for a bit
go have some more coffee
work for a bit more
go to lunch and have some coffee
work for a bit
coffee
go home
wine

There's a coffee shop everywhere. There's one downstairs.

Coffee can be either an expresso shot, which is *tiny*, think a thimble full of coffee something, or a cappuccino, which I've come to prefer. Cappuccino = 1 euro or about a buck fiddy.

Jeremy just said that if we don't leave here addicted to coffee, we will never be addicted to coffee. I concur.

Shhhhhhhh...

2010-01-22T18:56:00.003-06:00

shhhhhh, I think knitted bowls are stupid looking. Don't tell anyone or they may take away my knitting needles.....

35 in a 50 every single day

2010-01-21T21:27:00.004-06:00

Anyone who's talked to me while I'm driving down Germantown Pkwy knows how annoyed I get at all of those jackassed Memphis drivers who go 35 in a 50. It's like that every. single. time. I drive down that street. I'm not kidding! It drives me nuts! Tonight I decided yelling GO! MF'ers! doesn't work no matter how loud I yell it.

So, if you can't beat crazy, then join in the party. I'm going to roll the windows down and wave my hand out the drivers side window princess style while, every 50 feet or so, chuck handfuls of cheap candy out the passenger side window. If they want to drive like their in a freaking parade, then, by God, I am, too.

Busy week

2010-01-18T16:03:00.004-06:00

Our moving checklist is getting smaller and smaller. We took off the HUGE storm windows for the family room and kitchen today and washed them. What a pain in the butt! Thank god for Neighbors-on-Call to help get the glass back in place! Hey Tanya, you should start a business and call it that!

I painted our bedroom yesterday.

I painted the fireplace last week.

Cleaned out our closet and donated a bunch of clothes and shoes.

Things left on the Skye To-Do List:

Screens to replace on some of the windows
Remove the two front picture window glass, wash, and replace.
Stuff to put on the wood floors make them shine
Paint the upstairs hall
Clean out the rest of the closets
Paint the kitchen

Alan has his own list, but he can keep up with his stuff all by himself. He's good that way.

By the way, does everyone know we're moving back to Dallas? Kind of pertinent info for this post to make sense. heh.

Random Fact

2010-01-10T21:44:00.004-06:00

I keep a 28oz (1lb) jar of maraschino cherries in the fridge to snack on. I especially love to drink the juice. I have to replace the jar surprisingly often.

Cortland Playing

2010-01-02T12:01:00.001-06:00

For Tanya who has been too sick to come by and snuggle C.

WE HAD A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-02T11:43:00.002-06:00

WELCOME TO THE WORLD LILLIAN JOSEPHINE PICKERING!!!!!!!!!!

Carroll is Having Her Baby RIGHT NOW!

2010-01-02T10:50:00.002-06:00

One of my best friends went in for an emergency c-section at 10:30 this morning! We will find out if we have a Lilly Josephine or a Leo James within the next hour.

She started bleeding yesterday from the full placenta previa and in the hospital her blood pressure shot up and she had the beginining of preeclampcia. She started full labor in the middle of the night. Baby is coming 6 weeks early so everyone please keep her and baby in your prayers.

Anything's Possible

2010-01-01T17:22:00.004-06:00

As girls sometimes do when the boys are out of the room; my Grandma, mom and I were discussing women stuff when during the conversation my Grandma blurts out that she calls her girlie-bits Possible.

I waved my hands around wildly and stopped the whole conversation to get an explanation.

She said years ago she was a home health aid. Part of her job was to sponge bathe the older patients. One older woman instructed my Grandma to start at her feet and wash as far up as possible. Then to start at her head and wash as far down as possible. She said she herself would then wash Possible.
*snort*

Christmas at the Gunns

2009-12-27T14:06:00.015-06:00

He looks more like a little boy than a baby.

Put me down! I wanna play!

After Christmas nap

The ladies in my life

It gets COLD up here! Even Alan is wearing a coat.

Christmas Knitting

2009-12-27T12:23:00.007-06:00

I'm typing out the blanket pattern at the bottom, but
DO NOT START THE ENTRELAC PATTERN UNTIL I CAN TRY IT AND MAKE SURE I DIDN'T MISTYPE IT! Something doesn't look right and I can't figure out what until I've had a chance to actually stitch the thing.

I'm excited to be able to post the pictures of the blankets I've been working on for the past few months.

This is the one I made my mom for Christmas. It's made out of Noro Silk Garden and the squares are 16 x 16 stitches wide on a US9 needle. It's lined on the back with satin.

This is the one I made Kiwi for her baby shower. It's more a Mommy Blanket than a Baby Blanket!
It's made out of I Love This Yarn from Hobby Lobby and the squares are 20 x 20 stitches wide on a US6 needle.

I made this cable scarf for my Mother-in-Law

ENTRELAC PATTERN FOR BLANKET

Pass 1, Starting Triangles

Cast on 24 stitches - any way you like. We’re going to do a swatch comprised of three blocks - each of which is 8 stitches wide. To begin:

Row 1: Purl 2, turn
Row 2: Knit 2, turn
Row 3: P3, turn
Row 4: K3, turn

Continue, adding a stitch with each row until you have P8 and K8. Then start the next triangle with Row 1 - 4. Do this 3 times.

The triangles are going to look very funny on the cable. Don't worry about it. They will straighten up on the next pass.

Pass 2 - Side Triangles and blocks
This pass will have a triangle on each end with two blocks in the middle.

Pass 2 - 1st Triangle
Attach your second color.
Row 1: K2, turn
Row 2: P2, turn
Row 3: K in the front and back of first stitch (Kfb), SSK, turn
Row 4: P3, turn
Row 5: Kfb, K1, SSK, turn
Row 6: P4, turn
Row 7: Kfb, K2, SSK, turn
Row 8: P5, turn
Row 9: Kfb, K3, SSK, turn
Row 10: P6, turn
Row 11: Kfb, K4, SSK, turn
Row 12: P7, turn
Row 13: Kfb, K5, SSK, turn
Do not turn and purl back!

Pass 2 - 1st Square
Now it's time to make our 1st square. Pick up 8 stitches on your LEFT needle from here:
PHOTO COMING SOON!!!

Row 1: *(K7, SSK) *repeat 7 more times

Pass 2 - Second Square
Pick up 8 stitches and knit just like the 1st square.

Pass 2 - 2nd Triangle
Pick up 8 stitches on LEFT needle.
Row 1: P2tog, P7
Row 2: K8
Row 3: P2tog, P6
Row 4: K7
Row 5: P2tog, P5
Row 6: K6
Row 7: P2tog, P4
Row 8: K5
Row 9: P2tog, P3
Row 10: K4
Row 11: P2tog, P2
Row 12: K3
Row 13:P2tog, P1
Row 14: K2
Row 15: P2tog
Row 16: K1
You will end with 1 little stitch on the RIGHT needle.

Pass 3 - Blocks Only

Pass 3 - 1st Square
Pick up 7 stitches on LEFT needle.
Row 1: P6, P2tog
Row 2: K8
Row 3: P7, P2tog
Row 4: K8
Rows 5 - ??? repeat rows 3 - 4 until all of the stitches from the square in pass 2 are eaten up.

Pass 3 - 2nd and 3rd Square
Pick up 8 stitches on LEFT needle
Repeat rows 3 - 4 of pattern for Pass 3 - 1st Square above.

Pass 4 - Side Triangles and Blocks
Repeat instructions for Pass 2.

Last Pass - Just Triangles

Pass 4 - 1st Triangle
You should have one little stitch on the RIGHT needle after finishing Pass 4.
Pick up 7 stitches on LEFT needle.

Row 1: K7
Row 2: P2tog, K5, P2tog
Row 3:K6
Row 4:P2tog, K4, P2tog
Row 5:K6
Row 6:P2tog, K3, P2tog
Row 7:K5
Row 8:P2tog, K2, P2tog
Row 9:K4
Row 10:P2tog, K1, P2tog
Row 11: K3
Row 12: P2tog, P2tog
Row 13: K2
Row 14: P3tog

Pass 4 - 2nd and 3rd Triangles
Repeat instructions for Pass 4 - 1st Triangle

Christensen Christmas

2009-12-21T09:34:00.014-06:00

Merry Christmas on the run!

Is this one mine?

More toys?

Grandma would show C how things worked while Daddy would unbox the next toy.

Grandma Marla and Kayla.

Daddy takes a second to smile at me, then back to work putting in more batteries.

Grandpa talking. For some reason in all of his pictures he's talking.

That toy said, "Hi, I'm Chuck the Dumptruck" before I put tape over the speaker. Now it says, "Miff, Miff, muff, fumphh, humfphhhh, mumphhhhmumphhh."

Uncle Rodney helping C with his new remote control car

Preston, Kayla, Elvis and Grace

Dear Santa, please bring me Xanax

2009-12-18T11:31:00.002-06:00

This time of year is wonderful and hard at the same time. It's like clockwork, December roles around and I feel like I need an extra boost of drugs just to get through.

Cortland has entered the I Want To Do It MYSELF stage. Heaven help anyone who takes the remote or a cord or the phone or the million other dangerous or breakable items from that little angel. He turns into a siren. WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I have found that filling up the bath and laying in it with my head under water helps. It's not Xanax, but you do what you can with what you have.

Cortland pictures and videos

2009-12-17T12:04:00.008-06:00

Baby Bears Chair

But I don't wanna be a lion!

Bathtime with Kayla

Alan and Grace

Bri giving C his bedtime snack

Elvis under the tree

Return of the Yodeling Pickle

2009-12-10T22:06:00.003-06:00

Dustin and Kristin got this for Cortland for his birthday. As God is my witness, if/when they have kids this pickle will be shipped right back to them. It's as bad as the crazy doll my aunt and uncle got me when I was little that laughed and cried and drove my parents absolutely bonkers.

I would "lose" the batteries, but then it's just my son playing with a rather questionably shaped green, uhhhh, you know... uhhh.....

But as with all toys, the more annoying to the parents, the more the kid loooooves it and carries around everywhere. So for that, thank you Dustin and K. He loves his pickle.

PS - Tanya please don't kill me for posting you yodeling. heh. You do a very good job of it.

More Cortland Pics

2009-12-10T15:39:00.007-06:00

Hello!

What do you need? I'm on the phone...

Helping mommy change the locks.

Yummy belt!

Scrubs

2009-12-02T22:30:00.003-06:00

Remember when Mrs. Garrett and all of the girls moved to Peakesville and ran a candy store? That's how this new season of Scrubs feels.

Cortland's Newest Skill

2009-11-16T20:43:00.001-06:00

New Baby in Memphis!

2009-11-12T18:39:00.005-06:00

Jello-Kim had her baby! Meredith June was born yesterday around 5:15pm and weighs 7lbs 10oz. Both mom and baby are doing great.

Peek-a-Boo

2009-11-12T18:38:00.001-06:00

Footie Jammies

2009-10-29T12:16:00.003-05:00

One of C's favorite things to do is pull everything out of his boxes o the hearth. I finally got smart and put the no-no stuff in a zipper bag so he doesn't shove a thermometer up his nose or eat a handful of Vaseline.

It's the Great Pumpkin!

2009-10-28T19:51:00.001-05:00

Grace Came Home a Little Lighter

2009-10-28T18:34:00.007-05:00

Grace went to the vet for a teeth cleaning today and returned without her front right canine and the far back right tooth. She isn't feeling to good right now.

Grace

We were told by the vet that, without her front tooth, it might be impossible for her to keep her tongue in her mouth and may end up looking like this.

NOT Grace (yet)

WORST CASE SCENARIO

If that happens everyone has to promise not to laugh at her or tell her that she looks a little squirrely. It will hurt her precious princess feelings. (No worries, we can laugh when she leaves the room.)

A funny little thing happened when the vet came out to talk to me about removing her teeth. She handed me her pain meds and also a huge box of needles and a vial of B12 to inject, she said, for some colon issue. When I told her I wasn't aware of any colon issue she looked at me like I was a nut and said she would review the chart and be right back.

While she was gone I looked at the paperwork, felt all the blood rush from my head and loudly exclaimed, "Oh my God, this is the wrong pet!" Grayson/Grace Ann, Cat/Dog, Meh, close enough.

The front desk lady looked a little startled but handled it great. She went to the back and got the vet and everything was straightened out. It's not like they removed the wrong patient's kidney or anything.

When I left the vet said that she hoped to see us again and that I didn't call and request my pet see anyone but "that crazy blonde doctor".